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Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

Archer
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DaveK DaveK
With compliments from the Vancouver YVR mall
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The family can shovel it out together! 😀
 
hen
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This is probably a re-post, but I just love these jokes about K.R age for some reason. He is a bit of a hero to me so its not in bad faith.
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Rheide
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Daddy tomato, mommy tomato and baby tomato went for a walk. Baby tomato fell behind. Daddy tomato stomped his foot, crushing baby tomato and said “ketchup”! Budumbump.
 
flw
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It is well known that Charles Dickens often got a bad case of writer's block, spending days and sometimes weeks mulling over half-formed ideas or second-guessing himself on names, plot points, and the like. On many such occasions he would often go to his local pub and sit at the bar, lost in thought. On one such evening his bartender asked him what the source of his anxiety was. Dickens replied, "I can't think of a name for my next novel. It's about a poor orphan in a workhouse."

"Well," said the bartender, "Perhaps a nice stiff drink will help you focus, sir - or at least get your mind off it for a bit. How about this - chilled gin and vermouth? It's called a martini."

"That sounds marvelous!" said Dickens, as the bartender poured the drink and stirred it over ice. "It's a bit plain, though, isn't it? Anything you could add?"

"Certainly, sir," said the bartender. "Olive or twist?"
 
Canuck
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hen hen
Whats bordering on complete stupidity?



Canada and Mexico.
👍
 
JimInOz
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I found out that having too much sex can cause memory loss.

I read it in a medical journal (page 14, para 4) on the 14th November, 2019, at 3.19pm.
 
Pastorbottle
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JimInOz JimInOz
I found out that having too much sex can cause memory loss.

I read it in a medical journal (page 14, para 4) on the 14th November, 2019, at 3.19pm.
What was the weather like that day?
 
JimInOz
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Pastorbottle Pastorbottle
What was the weather like that day?
Comfortable actually, got to a high of 22.5ºC at about 18:06 but the humidity was really low, I can't remember how low though.
Oh, hang on, the Mrs is calling me again.
 
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