If you know Hulk Hogan...
A man is waiting patiently for the doctor in a medical exam room, when she finally enters, obviously overbooked, and harried.
Abruptly, she asks, “Okay, what seems to be the problem?”
The man’s says, “I have an itchy discharge.”
The doctor says, “Pull down your pants and let’s have a look.”
So the man complies, and the doctor examines his testicles, and his penis, stroking it a few times to elicit any findings. She says, “Your exam is normal. Have you had symptoms recently?”
The man replies, “Yes, just this morning in fact. There was a small stain on my pillow from the left ear…”
Did you hear about the guy that dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!
Take your kid to work day…
You might say that… I could not possibly comment….
Yes, there IS a difference between male and female drivers......
This is not a joke, but it does have a good punchline.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in
front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large
and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into
the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas
between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar
was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."
The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and
poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space
between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to
recognise that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the
important things -- your family, your children, your health, your
friends, your favourite passions, things that if everything else was lost
and only they remained, your life would still be full."
"The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house,
your car. The sand is everything else -- the small stuff."
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no
room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you
spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for
the things that are important to you".
"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play
with the kids. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to
dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house,
and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that
really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented.
The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked," he said. "It just goes to
show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for
a couple of beers."
It's a joke, for sure, but the potential ramifications are anything but funny...
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