Community Stories

Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread :-D

M'Bob
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Certainly no news any guy wants to hear:

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Edited:
 
DaveK
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I guess that’s what happens when the copy writers suddenly all work remotely
 
Tuna Cowboy
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Here we go, “A snail calls the police letting them know he was just robbed by a gang of turtles. When the cops arrive they ask the snail to tell them what happened, the snail takes a deep breath and says.....I don’t know it all happened so fast!”
 
lindo
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A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those
blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"

The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with
him." He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire-fighters.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so
we always let them play for free anytime."

The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I
think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
 
RI Omega Fan
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Tuna Cowboy Tuna Cowboy
Here we go, “A snail calls the police letting them know he was just robbed by a gang of turtles. When the cops arrive they ask the snail to tell them what happened, the snail takes a deep breath and says.....I don’t know it all happened so fast!”
I think I submitted this one about thirty pages ago, but it’s a good one!👍 I’ll give ya a “like”, buddy!
 
K
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What's the best thing about Switzerland?

I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
 
RI Omega Fan
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W West Slope
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Why it’s Iggy Pop! The godfather of punk rock, still going strong at 73. Now there’s a face one does not expect to see on a watch forum! I’ve never thought of him as looking like Jennifer Aniston on a bad day.

upload_2020-5-21_7-8-39.jpeg
 
DaveK
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RI Omega Fan RI Omega Fan
Why it’s Iggy Pop! The godfather of punk rock, still going strong at 73. Now there’s a face one does not expect to see on a watch forum! I’ve never thought of him as looking like Jennifer Aniston on a bad day.

upload_2020-5-21_7-8-39.jpeg
The Chairman of the Bored, perfect for lockdown 👍
 
Evitzee
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A man and a woman in their thirties meet up in a bar, have a few drinks and the man secures a hotel room. They have sex and the woman goes into the bathroom to freshen up. The man thinks, "if I knew she was a virgin I would have gotten a better hotel room". The woman thinks, "if I knew he was on Viagra I would have taken off my panty hose".
 
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