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Wryfox
·
Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread :-D
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blufinz52
··Hears dead people, not watch rotors."Woman who flies plane upside down has crack up."
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Buck2466
·
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Buck2466
·
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lindo
·DIVORCED BARBIE
One day as a father leaves work to go home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday.
He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbies in the display window?'
The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach
Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95'.
The amazed father asks: 'It's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 andthe others only $19.95?'
The salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: 'Sir... Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's balls’.
One day as a father leaves work to go home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday.
He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbies in the display window?'
The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach
Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95'.
The amazed father asks: 'It's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 andthe others only $19.95?'
The salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: 'Sir... Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's balls’.
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Canuck
·
She stopped me just in time! “It’s my pin cushion, she said”.
Edited:
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Buck2466
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Buck2466
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lindo
·A plane was taking off from Mascot Airport in Sydney.
After it reached cruising altitude the captain announced over the PA system, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number xyz, non-stop from Sydney to Auckland. The weather ahead is good and we should have smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax - OH, MY GOSH!"
After a few breathless minutes, the captain came back on the intercom: "Ladies and gentlemen, I am sorry if I scared you but while I was talking, the flight attendant spilled a hot cup of coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"
A passenger in Economy loudly announced, "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!"
After it reached cruising altitude the captain announced over the PA system, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number xyz, non-stop from Sydney to Auckland. The weather ahead is good and we should have smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax - OH, MY GOSH!"
After a few breathless minutes, the captain came back on the intercom: "Ladies and gentlemen, I am sorry if I scared you but while I was talking, the flight attendant spilled a hot cup of coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"
A passenger in Economy loudly announced, "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!"
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West Slope
·Apologies if posted previously but I looked and didn't see it.
A simple lesson in economics
Why the economy needs a Stimulus Package:
It is a slow day in the small Saskatchewan town of Pumphandle, and streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody is living on credit.
A tourist visiting the area drives through town, stops at the motel, and lays a $100 bill on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs to pick one for the night.
As soon as he walks upstairs, the motel owner grabs the bill and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
The butcher takes the $100 and runs down the street to retire his debt to the pig farmer.
The pig farmer takes the $100 and heads off to pay his bill to his supplier, the Co-op.
The guy at the Co-op takes the $100 and runs to pay his debt to the local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer her "services" on credit.
The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel owner.
The hotel proprietor then places the $100 back on the counter so the traveler will not suspect anything.
At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, picks up the $100 bill and leaves.
No one produced anything. No one earned anything.......
However, the whole town is now out of debt and now looks to the future with a lot more optimism.
*And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how a Stimulus package works*
A simple lesson in economics
Why the economy needs a Stimulus Package:
It is a slow day in the small Saskatchewan town of Pumphandle, and streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody is living on credit.
A tourist visiting the area drives through town, stops at the motel, and lays a $100 bill on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs to pick one for the night.
As soon as he walks upstairs, the motel owner grabs the bill and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
The butcher takes the $100 and runs down the street to retire his debt to the pig farmer.
The pig farmer takes the $100 and heads off to pay his bill to his supplier, the Co-op.
The guy at the Co-op takes the $100 and runs to pay his debt to the local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer her "services" on credit.
The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel owner.
The hotel proprietor then places the $100 back on the counter so the traveler will not suspect anything.
At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, picks up the $100 bill and leaves.
No one produced anything. No one earned anything.......
However, the whole town is now out of debt and now looks to the future with a lot more optimism.
*And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how a Stimulus package works*
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Pun
·Apologies if posted previously but I looked and didn't see it.
A simple lesson in economics
Why the economy needs a Stimulus Package:
It is a slow day in the small Saskatchewan town of Pumphandle, and streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody is living on credit.
A tourist visiting the area drives through town, stops at the motel, and lays a $100 bill on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs to pick one for the night.
As soon as he walks upstairs, the motel owner grabs the bill and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
The butcher takes the $100 and runs down the street to retire his debt to the pig farmer.
The pig farmer takes the $100 and heads off to pay his bill to his supplier, the Co-op.
The guy at the Co-op takes the $100 and runs to pay his debt to the local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer her "services" on credit.
The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel owner.
The hotel proprietor then places the $100 back on the counter so the traveler will not suspect anything.
At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, picks up the $100 bill and leaves.
No one produced anything. No one earned anything.......
However, the whole town is now out of debt and now looks to the future with a lot more optimism.
*And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how a Stimulus package works*
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Archer
··Omega Qualified Watchmaker