Patches! We definitely need patches for the SM Cosmic Club like
@Walrus suggested. Sometimes it’s hard to know who’s a member and who’s not and it can lead to strange interactions. Let me tell you what happened to me last night…
So I was at a local bar having a few beers, minding my own business. Then I notice a man next to me is wearing a watch. Naturally I was intrigued. It was hard to tell what he was wearing as the place was dimly lit. He becomes aware that I am eying his watch and takes a quick glance at my black dial Cosmic, how could he not, right? I thought that maybe he is a member of our club! He was a big dude, rough looking, beard and all. He was wearing a leather vest with a Confederate flag and a patch that said “The South Will Rise Again” – yikes! But our club is apolitical (motto:
Cosmic Above All Earthly) so I decided to approach the man.
“Hey there”, I said.
The man looks at me, nods and says “What’s up?”
“Are you a member?” I asked the man.
“Huh?”
“Or are you just C-curious?”
“What the hell are you talking about?!” For some reason the man was getting agitated.
I lean closer and whisper “Do you like, you know,
S M…”
I didn’t even get to finish my sentence before the man popped up, yelled whatyoujustsay and tried to punch my teeth in. Luckily, I have good reflexes so I was able to dodge the punch. He started chasing me around the bar and I was just running, blocking and dodging strikes. But as a diehard Cosmic collector and our club’s apostle I was still trying to convince him of the joys of vintage Omega. I evaded attacks and shouted “Wait! Stop! Just heard me out!” but he flung a beer bottle at me. I kept trying to convert him: “Cosmic is lovely! Funky looks!” – evaded a strike – “Great bang for your buck!” – blocked a kick – “You will like a monocoque case!” – Nonetheless the man wasn’t having any of it. Instead, he shouted all sorts of profanities and even “I don’t want your homocock!” How rude!
Finally, the security catches him and throws him out of the bar. I went back to my table, still a little confused and kept drinking beer. A stylish looking man approached me and asked to sit at my table.
“That guy is an idiot, don’t worry about him”, he said.
“I guess he was not a member. I think he’s an Invicta fanboy”, I replied.
“Definitely not a member! I overheard you say you are great bang for your buck”, the stylish man said. “How much?”
I was surprised and delighted to have finally found a potential SM Cosmic club member!
“On average 600 bucks”, I answered.
“Six hundred bucks? That sounds like a lot.”
“It’s good value, trust me. Still undervalued in my opinion. If you want a nice SM…”
“Oh,
S & M! That makes more sense. In fact, I was just in the mood for some S & M action”, the man winked at me and grabbed my wrist, “Let’s get out of here. I live just down the street.”
I’ve never met a man so eager to show me his watch collection! He must have quite the collection, I thought as we walked to his place and kept fantasizing about all the rarities hidden inside his watch box. But as we got to his apartment, I was soon disappointed; he did not have much of a collection at all. In fact, he was a total newbie and had just an Apple watch and his uncle’s old Genève. He didn’t even know the lingo! Instead of “funky” he kept describing things as “kinky”. One time I asked him what type of numerals he liked, Roman or Arabic? He lifted his left eyebrow, pursed his lips and said “Caucasians.
Big caucasians.” Lol, what a noob! He definitely needs to spend more time on OmegaForums and learn some basic stuff!
Nevertheless, we had a fun night together
Such a polite and energetic young man!
P.S. I was just doing laundry and in my jeans’ back pocket I found 600 bucks and a note saying “Let’s do this again, call me anytime”. I think we got a new member to our club! And I’m going to spend the 600 USD to expand my Cosmic collection. Lucky day!
P.P.S. When I got into watch collecting years ago, the old-timers used to tell me that “the best part of the hobby are the people you meet”. After last night, I think I finally understand what they meant.
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