How to recover from a scam

[jsducote]

I hate to admit it, but I got scammed recently. I saw a good deal advertised on another site (TRF) and dropped my guard just enough to miss a couple of red-flags and skip some due diligence. I don't mind admitting that I'm taking it hard, even though it was money from my annual bonus that I lost, not money that I need to pay bills, buy medication, or anything serious like that.

I know I'm not the first, and won't be the last, so I wonder what you all do to 'dust yourself off and get back on the horse' again. This wasn't a "normal" purchase that I was budgeting for, it was supposed to be a treat with my bonus money, most of which I still have, but also want to save some & spend some on a generator (because living in Houston sucks without electricity for a week).

Do I still treat myself to something, albeit less expensive, either new or from a known-reputable dealer, and move on?
Or do I accept my punishment and force myself to wait until my next bonus/normal budgeted purchase window?

 

[rendo]

Sorry to hear that.

I don't think punishing yourself by not buying another watch would prevent another scam in the future. You will probably be quite paranoid about buying from strangers for a while anyway. Assuming you can still afford it, I would buy another watch and move on. Life is short.

 

[TexOmega]

Place a photo of the watch where you see it every day and itemize the mistakes you made in your excitement and clip together for a reminder not to forget the cardinal rule......scammers prey on excitement and quick decisions by their victims.

 

[Larry S]

Simple solution. Only buy here on OF, though even here we have had some issues from time to time. Did you light up the scammer on TRF? I thought you have to pay a fee to get in there? I’m sorry this happened to you.

 

[JwRosenthal]

It happens: we buy something on impulse that turns out of be crap, we make bad investments, we get into new hobbies/projects and lose interest or discover it’s too hard after dumping waaay too much money into it, we get scammed. These are part of being a passionate person. We jump in and get excited and caught up in the thrill and we fail sometimes.
It’s kind of like love- if you are too afraid of the risk that you will feel incredible heartache and pain at some point, then you won’t ever be able to truly enjoy the highs that come with it.

 

[KeithS]

Sorry this happened to you. I hope you can get some measure of restitution. Can you elaborate on the scam so that I/others may learn from it?

I don't know the specifics of your financial situation, but I would say you should wait until your next bonus or normal budgeted purchase window opens again. You had some extra money, now it's gone. I don't think that means you get to now earmark other funds to replace it. Just my thoughts anyways.

 

[krogerfoot]

Best advice I’ve heard about this is to keep in mind that scammers are skilled technicians. People who fall victim are not necessarily gullible or foolish and you shouldn’t beat yourself up or feel ashamed. The fact that you can talk about it and learn something from it is a positive thing.

 

[thelinendial]

Sorry to hear that. It really burns.

At least for me, acknowledging needed stages of emotions (ie disbelief, anger ... to acceptance). Throughout thinking of my health and family.

In the anger part, at least in my life experience, Karma seems to hold true and the scammer will run into it at some point. I also believe something good will come to you in balance.

But probably the best tips I can give is acceptance. For me is mentally taking "power back" and "closing the door" by remembering to live well and enjoying the present.

 

[blueteg]

If you still have a little money left from your bonus, I would go with this option:

jsducote

Or do I accept my punishment and force myself to wait until my next bonus/normal budgeted purchase window?

A new watch will be a nice distraction to get your mind off of an otherwise crappy situation.

 

[jsducote]

Thanks all for the commiserations, good vibes, and great advice all around.
I think my compromise reaction for now will be to buy a new strap for my FOIS, wear it more often, and delay anything more expensive until my next bonus/budgeted purchase.

There wasn't anything particularly fancy about the scam. It was just a classic "buy the seller" mistake where he provided fake references, fake contact/business info, and I failed in my due diligence. I reported it to TRF where they've deleted the thread and closed his account.

 

[Ron_W]

Very sorry that you got scammed by some A ....hole.
Writing about it here and help to warn others is enough penance i think and admitting your own role in this misfortune is far more of a cure then simply to buy another watch. Put the remainder of the funds towards your energy independance, a long term goal far more rewarding i think. As for the rest, poo happens !

 

[JwRosenthal]

I say you still get yourself a toy. I get just as much joy out of a $100 vintage score as I do a $$$ watch. Plenty of fun to be had in the >$500 range- there is a whole thread dedicated to dumpster diving 😀

 

[RevZMan123]

Ask me about cheap microbrands that look vintage -- Timefactors website is open sunday! Get a prs-29A.

 

[JwRosenthal]

RevZMan123

Ask me about cheap microbrands that look vintage -- Timefactors website is open sunday! Get a prs-29A.

One toy Erric, not 30

 

[Walrus]

Ah just a little sting. Look all the crap we gotta bounce back from in life. Those poor people who get scammed out of life savings and a bunch of other potential nastiness lurking around lifes corners. Sometimes we are the Louisville slugger sometimes we the ball. Seems all sellers want 100% protection so us buyers gotta toss a bunch of money in the air hope we get something.
It don’t reflect badly on you this is how the game is played lot of room for errors, fouls and fools. I can speak the truth as I may be dying from bedbugs I got nothing to lose.

I. Thought I had a good suggestion or something helpful for you but I just ran out of words. Sorry my dude.

 

[sheepdoll]

JwRosenthal

One toy Erric, not 30

What not 300? although Eric tends to nicer watches than my rustrats.

 

[John7boy]

krogerfoot

Best advice I’ve heard about this is to keep in mind that scammers are skilled technicians. People who fall victim are not necessarily gullible or foolish and you shouldn’t beat yourself up or feel ashamed. The fact that you can talk about it and learn something from it is a positive thing.

This is good advice, you go out to work and you’ve clearly been successful in your career. Your bonus is proof of this. Remember, for these scammers deception is what they do for a living.
Don’t be too hard on yourself, dust yourself down take some time out and go again.

 

[mseamaster]

After I started collecting vintage Seiko, I bought lots of crap too... yeah, sometimes I beat myself up over buying overpriced scratched watches and also a very expensive redial I got recently(huge disappointment)...

My advice is, and what I tell myself - learn from mistakes, be more careful.

It's better to miss out on a deal than to risk losing your money - if the seller refuses information/photos/etc, don't buy.

And if you do, assume worst case and make sure you still need it. Ie. buying it just for the movement, hands, case, caseback, etc. is always fine, if the price is right.

Also if it's too cheap, it's probably a fake - the case with modern Seamasters and Speedmasters on local ads.

Watches are a very expensive hobby, so it's understandable that we all feel shitty when we get scammed.