Dark Days........

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jaguar11

·Jan 16, 2021

I write this having been for the last four weeks in circumstances that I can scarcely bring myself to believe. Although she is alive and well, I have for all intents and purposes lost my daughter. It is beyond cruel and the agony that has been inflicted on me is quite indescribable. To be torn away from my child is having life a changing and devastating effect on me. The mountain ahead of me that I have to overcome fills me with fear and dread. Quite simply I am scarred at what the future holds. At the same time the agony of not being with my baby is consuming every conscious moment of time that I now endure. I still come here where perhaps I can find a minute or two of normality in the dark that I stand in. I have posted two pictures which quite simply illustrate the happiness that has been part of our lives and which has been wrenched away from me and my little girl. I have tears in my eyes as I write this but I hope one day to have this happiness back. I will never regain the lost time and I will never forget. I can say no more. Thank you for reading and always have perspective on what is really important in life.

Edited: Jan 16, 2021

 

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OllieOnTheRocks

·Jan 16, 2021

I’m sorry to hear the pain you’re going through and whilst I do not know the circumstances of this I do hope for both of your sakes that the happiness that is so clear in these photos will return.

 

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STANDY

·Jan 16, 2021

Sorry to hear your pain and sadness.
I hate to say it, but Time will heal such a wound you have at the moment.

 

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Jonathan40

·Jan 16, 2021

Please use this a place to talk, it really does help. Even typing out thoughts and emotions is a good thing.
Speak to friends when you can.
Time is a healer and I wish you all the strength and luck in the world to come out the other side.

 

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flw

·Jan 16, 2021·history nerd

I feel crushed for you. Children are our legacy and the greatest gift we can receive. I have had the great good fortune to be able to see my boys grow up and to be a continual part of that, so I can't imagine how painful this must be. But this community is so much more than just a watch forum - I have found it to be a virtual family at times. I'll be thinking of you and hoping that your path forward becomes brighter in the days ahead.

 

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eugeneandresson

·Jan 16, 2021

There are no words anyone can say to change anything for you. Be brave, strong, and persistent. I empathise and wish I could help carry part of the burdon...

 

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Spruce

·Jan 16, 2021·Sunburst dial fan

I’m very sorry to hear about your sadness and anxiety.

As a parent who had to contend with what I suspect you are going through, not once but twice, all I can offer is to suggest that you keep yourself together, and do nothing hasty, so as to be there for her when the time comes in the future. Sorry if I’ve gone too far.

 

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LesXL

·Jan 16, 2021

Sorry to read about your pain and dark days you are currently going through. As others have already mentioned it, expressing your feelings, however and wherever it is best for you, always help somehow. It doesn't solve things perse but it does help evacuate anger, frustration, sadness one can have.

As hard as it can be conceivable now, I believe there can be light ahead, in any situation one can be. One step at the time, one day after the other.

Courage!

 

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amcclell

·Jan 16, 2021

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this terrible separation. I sincerely hope that you are able work through it and overcome the barriers to regain contact with your daughter. Be strong, get support and advice from professionals you can trust and don't give up.

 

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Larry S

·Jan 16, 2021·Color Commentator for the Hyperbole.

Condolences. Assume this is an acrimonious separation with your spouse. Don’t give up on that relationship. Your daughter and you will be the better for it.

 

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pdxleaf

·Jan 16, 2021·"I cut it TWICE and it's still short!"

Very very sorry for your pain. As a father of two girls, I can only imagine.

We are listening and we are here.

 

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M'Bob

·Jan 16, 2021

This is devastating, sickening news.

I am from an era when divorce was not only accompanied by unimaginable pain, but was stigmatized as well. I was your little girl. After my folks split, I didn’t see my dad much. He made an uninspired effort as a father.

Just keep letting her know, every day, that you love her, and are there for her. Even if your ex throws road-blocks in your way, and makes it difficult.

if you do that, it will all be fine. Trust me.

 

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w@tcher

·Jan 16, 2021

I feel really sorry for your loss.
Wish you the time to kill all your pain...
Please feel free to express all your pain any time...

We are here to read you...

 

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lillatroll

·Jan 16, 2021

These new circumstances will take time to get used to. I expect everything seems hopeless right now, your world has been turned upside down and I expect your day is a rollercoaster of different emotions.
One day, in the not too distant future you will hopefully have accepted the situation and then you can work on ways to deal with the practicalities of it.
It will get easier but I think that one first has to face up to the fact that this is the new reality and your old life is gone. If you spend your time in the past you cant live in the present.
My ex left me after 12 years. I didn't know she was going to leave and it was a bit of a shock. I dealt with it by thinking of all the possibilities I now had. No more crap tv series to watch, I could watch football whenever I wanted, decide my own dinners without asking what she might like, these are silly examples but they helped me turn a negative situation into a positive one. Anyway after a 4 year holiday and a lot of me time, I met the wife so normal service resumed😉
Maybe none of the words in themselves posted here make you feel any better, but you have a community that are willing to listen and help in any way they can.

 

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coffee

·Jan 16, 2021

I am very sorry for your loss.

 

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Waltesefalcon

·Jan 16, 2021

I am so incredibly sorry for you and her right now. Keep your chin up, do everything you can to let her know you love her, and be there for her as much as you can. Time will bring the two of you back together, you have to believe that.

 

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kov

·Jan 16, 2021

Very sorry to read that. You already made an important step - do not keep the pain for yourself - keep sharing.

Fingers crossed you’ll be able to see her again soon and this horrible period will stay behind.

 

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Capt Cave Man

·Jan 16, 2021

@jaguar11 it's a horrid time at the moment and I feel your pain, nothing any of us can say will make it easier although many of us have been through similar hurt.

Easier said than done in the present but stay strong for yourself and your daughter.

Yes, it's a forum but we're all behind you, we have your corner through this time of uncertainty while you all adapt.

Edited: Jan 16, 2021

 

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Walrus

·Jan 16, 2021

Really tough to read. I see people dealing with some really tough issues lately and I think things get magnified as they come about during times when things are already difficult and many people are isolated from natural supports. You do the best you can, find some avenues of support and I’ll send you positive karma.

 

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Transitus

·Jan 16, 2021

Sorry to hear about your situation. I know how heartbreaking this is. It's good that you can share this as so many fathers suffer in silence and suffer the more for it. Your daughter will understand one day what you went through for her.