My sympathies, 64wing. It's a big club. Me, she moved out after 8 years of marriage and a daughter. Took another 2 years for the courts to do their thing. She moved to a different part of the country when daughter was about to begin high school, so daughter stayed with me. It's been great having her around. She'll go to college in September (pandemic permitting).

It will get better. All I can suggest is spending time with friends and taking this chance to do things exactly the way you want.

 

All the advice here is very good. Fellow member here who understands what you went through and it gets better.

 

I'd like to recommend a book, The Art of Happiness. Yes, it's written by the Dalai Lama and there's a bit of buddhist philosophy/spirituality in it, but I'd wager that it isn't anything that would seriously conflict with any other beliefs you may have. My biggest takeaway was taking control over your own happiness. It sometimes feels that the things other people do make you happy or unhappy, but they can't reach into your chest to make your heart beat faster in love or anger, it's really your choice. If you have a Half-Price Books nearby, one that's open, that is, they usually have a copy or two.

 

Probably not as commonly known but also a great read that helped me put some things into perspective
Happiness and Other Small Things of Absolute Importance

 

I thought he was talking about a watch?

 

That’s a separate break-up sub-forum, it’s called the FS section- there are a lot of mixed emotions there including sadness, regret, excitement and pain.

 

Be excited in the belief that there is a partner you have not met yet. A treasure waiting to be discovered by you or by her.
When you think about fate, every decision, every move you make, is leading you on a path toward that person.
Resist the inner conversations about, what if I had...
Do your best to look forward and the healing will quicken.

 

This is spot on! If my highschool girlfriend hadn’t wanted to move East for college, I wouldn’t have gone to the university where I met me ex-wife, with whom I purchased the house in which I currently live (she picked the house) which is where I met my current love at the next door house party...serendipity sometimes.

 

While we’re pontificating a la Dr. Phil about relationships, let’s talk about one of the most insidious, poisonous qualities that seeps into a relationship: resentment. And often, the participants are disturbingly unaware that they harbor it...

How does it happen? Repressed anger over unrealized expectations we put on others. It’s what we really want, and what we don’t get, and we never forgive the other person about it.

The reality is, no one can meet all of our expectations and needs. It’s completely unrealistic. That said, big issues are just that - often obvious, in-your-face conflicts that need to be hashed out. But I’m talking about those smaller things that bug the shit out of you, that we don’t forget, and put in that little mental store-house to be used later, at just the opportune time. You know exactly what I’m talking about.

Over time, it festers, builds, and bubbles over, and years later, you can’t stand the person, want out, and start looking for a replacement, and you may not even have a specific reason at that point. And, if you’re old enough, lucky, and find someone new, you’ll die before the cycle repeats again in the face of your unenlightenment.

The solution? Let it go. Repeat after me: LET IT GO. Don’t allow the pettiness to sabotage your relationship. It’s really okay to come up a little short. Often times, it’s better to yield, and forget, even if you’re right. Because then you’ve won.

 

Great advise and I'm guessing a big Frozen fan.

 

Hang in there mate, remember, very few people die of divorce, just saying, stay away from the grog, {I did not and it was hell to pay}, try another hobby, something you always wanted to do but never found the time, I chose making hiking and walking staffs for old people, did wonders.

 

Very hard to give you advice without knowing the circumstances (not suggesting you post them)…. It is often just better to listen and let people talk stuff out. Even after 2 million years love is still a bit of a mystery and every relationship is unique. Like @Farmer said avoid the booze etc unless with friends and family and good people. Share with the right people and take time to heal without becoming lonely and isolated - good that you posted and reached out - brave to do that. Eat well and exercise - watch your health. Focus on the good memories and don't get bitter and twisted. When ready look in the mirror and see what you can change or learn from without being hard on yourself - it takes two to Tango and sh-t like this is the price we all pay for a world full of possibility.

Don't lose your confidence if you slip,
Be grateful for a pleasant trip,
And pick yourself up,
Dust yourself off,
Start all over again.

 

“Even after 2 million years love is still a bit of a mystery .........”

Freud said, “Love is a mutually compulsive and complimentary interrelation of egos.” That explains it all.

 

Hey there ...
So sorry to hear. Sometimes though There is a season for everything.
Sometimes change is out of Your Control. Sometimes You Don’t See it
Coming. Men are horrible at seeing this. I’ve got the The T-shirt and
Cancelled Ticket stub.
So...I took a period of time to grieve...cry and get Angry. That’s ok. But lose the Anger
Don’t hang on to it . That is emotional Rust....and Rust Never Sleeps.
Remember these are all natural steps. Your own self worth and image is
In Your Own Hands. Take stock. List the Great Qualities along with Your
Failings. Remember We are all a Work in Progress. IN PROGRESS.
Be honest and work on what you could emotionally do better.
Take Time. Vow to next time listen to your inner voice. Pay more attention.
We don’t often see the forest for the trees. Women are well...Women.
They are complex chemically and emotionally driven beings. Their hormonal
And brain chemistry workings are Different. In short it’s the wiring. There is
Things that We as men will never get to know. That’s Nature. Accept that.
Like Bruce Willis once said....” Water is wet...And Women have secrets”.
So once I licked my wounds and reset my compass...
I Went and Bought the most Comfortable most expensive damn shoes I could
Find. Spoil yourself. Your New journey begins With that First Step. Then the next one...
The Shoes are a Very Powerful Reminder Of That.
Then...remember that your next Journey and your Next New Love is Out there...
But it begins with that first New Brave Step. Take a chance...Be Open - She’s Out There..
.You just don’t Know Her Name Yet. But...take your time...don’t rush it. Be patient.
You can do it.
( The shoes will be much cheaper than a New Speedy or that Bond Watch).
Don’t dwell on reminders of Time. Get going down that new road in those
Comfy Fancyass Shoes.

For what it’s worth....
You Will Be Fine.

 

Thanks man. Today was move out day and it all just got so real. Was tough on us both.

Good news is I already have a Speedy...

Bad news is I hear there's a new BB58 coming soon...

The racoon in me just can't resist going, "ooo shiny!"

My boss has graciously allowed me to come stay at his second home. A very nice guy that feels more like a brother than a boss, but we respect each other mutually and that's the ticket.

Anyhow, I'm going to nap. Eyes are still whack from this morning :'(

 

sorry that's all I absorbed from your post, although I'm sure the rest might have been interesting...especially a picture or 20.

 

Fir

New BB85 is therapy and what a boss you have btw

 

Yeah well - I have my memories. You will just have to use your imagination......

 

The first thing to do after a bad breakup is --------- nothing. Take some time, absorb it and, and let your emotions out. Decompress.

You have to believe that although this one didn't work out, you have plenty to offer the right person. Nobody knows when that right person will enter their life. Right after a breakup emotions run high and judgement is clouded. That's why I say do nothing for a time. A week, a month, whatever amount of time you need to relax. You're ready to move on when you feel you can have a conversation with the ex and not get emotional. You don't NEED to have that conversation, but being able to is a good sign of emotional readiness to move on. Just keep believing in yourself. And don't forget that there was something there at one point, and that something is still in you. It just takes the right partner to bring it out. Ok, this one wasn't it. Felt like it, but in the end you're going to be better off. It will suck for a while, and then it gets better.