Looking at two watches for wife. One is sorta big and one is i think 35-36mm.

If i go with the big one. Will it look incorrect on the wife hands?

 

Only your wife can answer this. Sorry.

 

In the before times, I would have said, go with your wife to the dealer and have her try them on.

 

For ladies I would say go towards 35-36 (this is even a good men's size)

 

Matter of taste.
None of the watches below are too big or too small for me.
The brown ones are much bigger than the last one but I found the last one too manly on me.
That, by the way, is what « vintage » is.