Another “Investing” Guide For Greed Heads

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This is the kind of shit my father would send me.

Hey James,

You collect watches, and this says you can make money with them. Maybe if you sold some of your watches you wouldn’t need to keep asking me for money.

Love,
Your father.
 
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I love the fine print on his website almost color matched to the background as to be invisible.

“DISCLAIMER: The sales figures stated above are my personal sales figures. Please understand my results are not typical, I’m not implying you’ll duplicate them (or do anything for that matter).”

Aren’t you though?

“The average person who buys any "how to" information gets little to no results.”

🙄 What a hustle.
 
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I love the fine print on his website almost color matched to the background as to be invisible.

“DISCLAIMER: The sales figures stated above are my personal sales figures. Please understand my results are not typical, I’m not implying you’ll duplicate them (or do anything for that matter).”

Aren’t you though?

“The average person who buys any "how to" information gets little to no results.”

🙄 What a hustle.
 
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Reminds me of those infomercials, years back, during the wee hours of the night, on how to use eBay "to make hundreds of thousands of dollars per year" that came on CD-ROM.
 
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I feel like I can picture the author of that guide in my mind's eye...
34 years old, lives in a nearly unfurnished condo outside Atlanta, always wears a mix of Adidas & Fila tracksuits & grey market Air Jordans, drives a 6cyl Charger with plasti-chromed "Hemi" badges he bought off Amazon, uses too much counterfeit Creed cologne and maxed out multiple CC's to purchase a $36,000.00 "Tiffany blue" dial 36mm Rolex OP -he cannot for the life of him unload- and is now scared shitless.
 
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I feel like I can picture the author of that guide in my mind's eye...
34 years old, lives in a nearly unfurnished condo outside Atlanta, always wears a mix of Adidas & Fila tracksuits & grey market Air Jordans, drives a 6cyl Charger with plasti-chromed "Hemi" badges he bought off Amazon, uses too much counterfeit Creed cologne and maxed out multiple CC's to purchase a $36,000.00 "Tiffany blue" dial 36mm Rolex OP -he cannot for the life of him unload- and is now scared shitless.
This was a very graphic picture…almost too graphic like a confessional. It’s going to be ok SC, just step away from the mall kiosk fragrances, we all make mistakes….Rolex isn’t an investment, you know that now 😉
 
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This was a very graphic picture…almost too graphic like a confessional. It’s going to be ok SC, just step away from the mall kiosk fragrances, we all make mistakes….Rolex isn’t an investment, you know that now 😉

I could only wish... I'm 59 years old and look like a total moron in tracksuits.
 
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I’m still heavily invested in Beanie Babies. Once those make a comeback I’m all in on watches.
 
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I’m still heavily invested in Beanie Babies. Once those make a comeback I’m all in on watches.

I feel you brother... me, I'm still ass-deep in Rainbow vacuum cleaners.
 
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...oh, and Pet Rocks.

Classic, original, Pet Rocks.
 
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I’d bet my $1500 capital “investment” that is NOT his garage he’s shooting in.

 
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...oh, and Pet Rocks.

Classic, original, Pet Rocks.

You'll be okay as long as you don't have a 6 cyl Charger.
 
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You'll be okay as long as you don't have a 6 cyl Charger.

4 cyl Lambo gets the chicks every time.
 
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I’m still heavily invested in Beanie Babies. Once those make a comeback I’m all in on watches.

Oh crap! We live in the Beani Baby capital of the world the GD things are everywhere, I hope our 5 year old grows out of them soon.
 
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We have easier ways of getting rich these days in the US, just contact one of the friendly shyster lawyers who will get you money from the Camp Lejeune Settlement. You can't turn on the boob tube now without getting an ad within ten minutes.