When is Enough Enough -or- Is Collecting a Disorder?

[SC1]

Not meant as a judgement or divisive topic or a bonfire... really me thinking out loud to me but would enjoy reading other's stories and thoughts and rationalizations on it.

I've got two wrists but only use one for a watch at a time and yet own many watches. I own 12 bicycles but only two pair of hands & feet and one ass to sit on only one bike at a time. I own enough bike parts, both old & new, to open a bike shop but seldom sort through them when I need to repair any bike I currently ride and instead buy another new part for that repair because "fυck it, it's easier than shifting through bins and sucking up however many hours looking for what I need".
I own, at least, 30 pairs of shoes and outside of maybe eight pairs of them that are specific in purpose (walking, cycling, hot or cold weather) they just sit in a closet.
No, I don't have shit stacked everywhere -- are house is clean and organized.

As such I started looking at psychological studies on Collecting and the very human disposition towards it.

Collecting definitely ain't new or unheard of as we all know.
Magazines, stamps, cars, watches, shoes, hats, depression era glass, Hummel's, guns, beer cans... humans love gathering shit to look at and research.

Much of what I read states that it very closely borders on hoarding, a need for control and order - an offset of or closely related relative to OCD.

One thing that struck me... many sources say that Collecting isn't Hoarding as long as the Collector keeps their collection of whatever "tidy" vs the Hoarder and their fleet of whatever being "everywhere" and "overrunning their home". Seems like an rather odd and oversimplification of the two conditions.

To me, unto me, my watches and shoes and bikes and bike parts seem perfectly normal... until someone outside of me & my brain asks about them. Even innocently asked I feel weird justifying it. The topic always makes me not so much defensive as self-deprecating and making fun of myself - perhaps that's another form of being defensive? Don't know.

I do know this... I absolutely adore, admire and love folks who own one of something and use the shit out of it.
I think what spawned all this was the fella who recently posted about his Speedmaster and all the use he's given it. I loved that so much it started me thinking about how ridiculous I am/this is.

Is it...
Status?
Hoarding?
Control?
Fear of committing to just one thing?
Collecting?
Innocent enjoyment gone unchecked?
Just innocent enough?

My wife, for instance, raised dirt poor (I'm talking absolutely nothing, shit side of the tracks for her childhood, messed up family, never a pot to piss in... but smart and independent as a whip -- formulated a practical plan out of it through a solid, heavily employable, career that would make her some money, never need to return to poverty yet also help humanity -- Registered Nursing)... she's fine with what I do, definitely makes fun of it (marriage), yet will not be saddled down with "Things". If I buy her a pair of shoes and she didn't need a new pair she either returns the gift or donates the current pair. I've tried to get her "into" watches... I bought her a Rolex, she wanted it returned and gone immediately. "It's not who I am darling. I need to wear a watch not have it wear me. I will worry too much about the price of what's on my wrist to ever ignore it and get on with work at the hospital. Thank you but no thank you." But she loves the $250 dollar Seiko diver I got her after the Rolex went back.
Her favorite phrase for nearly everything is, "Oh, mine still works. No need but thank you." And I feel like a total dick as a result of it while I continue to look, think, hunt and balance our finances against what I can get and can't get.
Her two single extravagant crutches (if I could even call them that at all)... she loved olives as a child (nothing exotic either... green olives, pimentos stuffed inside them, in a jar) but her family of six couldn't afford them. She had them at church and at the neighbors but never at home. And cheese. She was raised on fake government cheese but occasionally would have something that wasn't surplus when at the neighbors...
to this day our fridge always has two jars of standard cocktail olives and a block of any type of cheese from any manufacturer as long as it isn't generic. The two jars and block might never even get opened but there they sit. I respect that even though one could opine that that's wasteful.
Our daughter, when young and not knowing the backstory, would make fun of it. I told her the story (my wife seldom revisits her childhood in conversation) and now our daughter makes sure the two jars and block are never touched by her.
I think it's symbolic, the olives and cheese, to my wife that she overcame her childhood and succeeded.

I can afford the watches I currently own, perhaps even a few more before I would need to start selling some I don't wear that often, but I'm starting to think the watches are wearing me... and it's something I am not comfortable with.

Anyway, just some outward rambling.

 

[dsio]

If it doesn’t do you harm I don’t see the issue, some people have bad habits that are antisocial or destructive, collecting is a habit that is constructive and very social as it connects you to other people in the field and is one of the few way grown adults can make new friends.

Nothing wrong with any of that.

I’ve never seen a person collect a pile or watches and then go “oh no what am I going to do with all of these??” Unless they were a hublot or pre-crash Panerai enthusiast.

 

[TimeODanaos]

SC1

Collecting definitely ain't new or unheard of as we all know.
Magazines, stamps, cars, watches, shoes, hats, depression era glass, Hummel's, guns, beer cans... humans love gathering shit to look at and research.
Much of what I read states that it very closely borders on hoarding, a need for control and order - an offset of or closely related relative to OCD.

Don't worry. Collecting activities fall into a Venn diagram with a lot of circles, and a lot of overlaps. There are hoarders, traders, speculators, "investors" 🤦, heirloom-makers, braggarts, playboys, scholars, completists, horologists, engineers, aesthetes... you get the picture. Most of us have been a few of these over time, and at any one time. Some folks can satisfy these objectives only with many pieces, some with just a few. The only golden rule is, we never spend the housekeeping.

SC1

Much of what I read states that it very closely borders on hoarding, a need for control and order - an offset of or closely related relative to OCD.

FWIW, I don't really agree with this. I think it's the relatively pointless everyday acquisition and accretion of general life-crap that is uncomfortably adjacent to hoarding; my own experience is that "collecting" is something that offers a release from all that. When I look at my watches - or, say, my sports gear - I know exactly what they are, what they're for, why I like them. I know there are no random bits of mere stuff lying around, and it's all wanted and used. By contrast, when I look at, say, my bookshelves or my toolbox, I frequently wonder whose house I'm in! I believe these feelings are normal in the adult male.

Edited: Jan 27, 2023

 

[Dan S]

If you want to feel better about collecting, sell a few just to prove you can do it and make a small profit. Then you can call it investing.

 

[redpcar]

30 pairs of shoes? That might be a little crazy 😉

I have a track car in the garage that hasn't run in 6 years. Rat got into the wiring then the gas went bad. I have enough parts for it in the attic to build another one (literally). It's on my "to do" list to fix. Thinking of turning it street legal. Someday.
Probably have 1K watches and couple hundred that I regularly wear. Tons of parts and pieces all neatly stored and cataloged. Watches are small so it fits in my home office with my bench. I pretend I'm a watchmaker and do all my own repairs. I help friends when they need it.
I used to scour the planet for vintage messenger bags/briefcases. I have stack of really cool stuff in the attic.
Golf clubs: don't get me started. Used to be rabid collector. Now play more golf than I collect but still have hundreds of clubs (yes, in the attic). Neatly stuffed in bags. I go through them from time to time.
When my boys were young, we raced karts. Had 4 and spares galore. When they moved out, 3 karts were sold. Kept mine with dreams of running again. Now standing on end in the garage. Gazillion spares (in the attic).
Sunglasses. I have hundreds of vintage shades in several boxes. Now I need prescription glasses and no need for standard sunglasses. Still have them all with plans to sell.

All this and I don't consider myself crazy. You'll be just fine 😀

 

[EuroDriver]

I feel your pain. I believe you are on the right track and there's some element of everything at play. You hoard bicycle parts, shoes, clothes and watches. Your wife "hoards" olives and cheese. Perhaps not to the same degree of hoarding as you (or us) but if they're there for surplus, it's hoarding.

My house is tidy. My garage and shed are full well-organized of parts and tools for cars that I have, had and many are long gone. I always talk myself into believing they will be useful someday. Don't get me started on my fishing rods and reels - it's an ongoing joke between my wife and her best friend (her friend "collects" make-up brushes - they call my fishing rod collection Nathan's brush collection). I have a decent watch collection (mostly Bulovas) that most get worn once a year at best. Now that I'm getting into Omegas, I buy one, then see another I "have to have."

Is it a need to prove to myself I can have something so I go prove myself right? Is it some psychological hang-up of not being able to afford things in my youth? Am I just some sort of materialistic psychopath? Or am I just never satisfied with what I have? Probably a little of everything. The one thing I certainly am not is a wise investor because none of these things are likely to hold any investment value.

I'm not going to beat on myself over this, just joining you in the rant. I count my blessing to be able to afford to have these sorts of first-world problems, although the guilt gets to me sometimes. In the meantime, let's just enjoy what we have and buy while we delve into self-reflection...

Edited: Jan 27, 2023

 

[bananapeanut]

It's all about feeling comfortable with what you own I think. For watches, my comfort zone is under 5. 1 is never enough. 2 or 3 feels just about right.

 

[M'Bob]

All you need to know:

 

[Evitzee]

One word.......ROSEBUD

 

[NGO1]

redpcar

Probably have 1K watches and couple hundred that I regularly wear.

Can you elaborate on this.
If this sentence is what i think it meant, god damn.
Dad?

 

[redpcar]

son?

 

[SC1]

Brother?

 

[Dan S]

redpcar

Probably have 1K watches and couple hundred that I regularly wear.

It's not easy to wear a couple of hundred watches regularly. Maybe double-wristing it, and changing out a couple of times a day. 😁

 

[redpcar]

Should I have said rotate?

edit: Just did a quick count. Rotation watches are closer to 300. There's a watch show coming up in Dallas. I need to thin the herd.

Edited: Jan 26, 2023

 

[Scooterino36]

I liken myself to Gollum, and I find many watches to be Precious. Just lean into it.

 

[bananapeanut]

redpcar

Probably have 1K watches [...] in my home office

it sounds like an invitation to get robbed

 

[redpcar]

MANY Timex (how's that?)

 

[josiahg52]

I'll admit that it may be for cachet or status with regard to Omega watches, at least. I like that I own a pretty decent and original -69 Speedmaster. I have an assembled SM300 that I sourced the parts for which is cool. I also have a Broad Arrow Replica that has gained a sort of cult following the past few years, a Maddox Ti Chronograph, and a Peter Blake Seamaster. Those are pretty good examples, I think. I could easily turn those into a couple of newer watches if I wanted but I think I would regret it in some way.

Then there's the multitude of other watches which consist of smaller brands, including microbrands. I've said before my collection is an assortment of subsets. It feels wrong to break them up which means I end up buying and never selling. Unfortunately, my current diagnosis and situation means I should probably sell or give away a large portion of my collection and/or focus it to only the most coveted or collectible.

 

[Walrus]

Damn you struck home with that one. My wife also grew up poor, like “we don’t have food for a few days but we will eat soon” poor. She grew up in another country and dreamed of coming to the US someday. She got an academic scholarship to one of those colleges with Ivy growing on them and always lives modestly. One probably never forgets not being hungry, but starving. Makes one tough and gives the one a different perspective than fat westerners.

I also tried to get her into watches but she is perfectly contact with something at the Walmart boutique. Damn batteries run out so fast though I seem to change it every couple months. So I can understand why this thing we have, this “watch thing” seems weird to her. I was a flipper for a couple months she did like that but then I found out that’s not for me. Made me feel like a cheap hoe.

Anything has the potential to become a problem, anything that gets that pleasure reward part of your brain zinging. Sometimes I do feel a “compulsive” aspect to watches and I’ll check myself. I’ve read some psychology on collecting and psychology of buying the “big brands” I posted it here a while back I forgot most of it by now. If it’s not having a negative impact on your life and you have balance and healthy relationships it’s probably just something other people might look at you crazy for having a minimum of one watch for everyday of the month. But they are probably closet drinkers, pretty much we are all messed up one way or another.

It does seem weird to me sometimes but I’ve had much worse hobbies in the past so it’s all good.

 

[ghce]

SC1

Not meant as a judgement or divisive topic or a bonfire... really me thinking out loud to me but would enjoy reading other's stories and thoughts and rationalizations on it.

I've got two wrists but only use one for a watch at a time and yet own many watches. I own 12 bicycles but only two pair of hands & feet and one ass to sit on only one bike at a time. I own enough bike parts, both old & new, to open a bike shop but seldom sort through them when I need to repair any bike I currently ride and instead buy another new part for that repair because "fυck it, it's easier than shifting through bins and sucking up however many hours looking for what I need".
I own, at least, 30 pairs of shoes and outside of maybe eight pairs of them that are specific in purpose (walking, cycling, hot or cold weather) they just sit in a closet.
No, I don't have shit stacked everywhere -- are house is clean and organized.

As such I started looking at psychological studies on Collecting and the very human disposition towards it.

Collecting definitely ain't new or unheard of as we all know.
Magazines, stamps, cars, watches, shoes, hats, depression era glass, Hummel's, guns, beer cans... humans love gathering shit to look at and research.

Much of what I read states that it very closely borders on hoarding, a need for control and order - an offset of or closely related relative to OCD.

One thing that struck me... many sources say that Collecting isn't Hoarding as long as the Collector keeps their collection of whatever "tidy" vs the Hoarder and their fleet of whatever being "everywhere" and "overrunning their home". Seems like an rather odd and oversimplification of the two conditions.

To me, unto me, my watches and shoes and bikes and bike parts seem perfectly normal... until someone outside of me & my brain asks about them. Even innocently asked I feel weird justifying it. The topic always makes me not so much defensive as self-deprecating and making fun of myself - perhaps that's another form of being defensive? Don't know.

I do know this... I absolutely adore, admire and love folks who own one of something and use the shit out of it.
I think what spawned all this was the fella who recently posted about his Speedmaster and all the use he's given it. I loved that so much it started me thinking about how ridiculous I am/this is.

Is it...
Status?
Hoarding?
Control?
Fear of committing to just one thing?
Collecting?
Innocent enjoyment gone unchecked?
Just innocent enough?

My wife, for instance, raised dirt poor (I'm talking absolutely nothing, shit side of the tracks for her childhood, messed up family, never a pot to piss in... but smart and independent as a whip -- formulated a practical plan out of it through a solid, heavily employable, career that would make her some money, never need to return to poverty yet also help humanity -- Registered Nursing)... she's fine with what I do, definitely makes fun of it (marriage), yet will not be saddled down with "Things". If I buy her a pair of shoes and she didn't need a new pair she either returns the gift or donates the current pair. I've tried to get her "into" watches... I bought her a Rolex, she wanted it returned and gone immediately. "It's not who I am darling. I need to wear a watch not have it wear me. I will worry too much about the price of what's on my wrist to ever ignore it and get on with work at the hospital. Thank you but no thank you." But she loves the $250 dollar Seiko diver I got her after the Rolex went back.
Her favorite phrase for nearly everything is, "Oh, mine still works. No need but thank you." And I feel like a total dick as a result of it while I continue to look, think, hunt and balance our finances against what I can get and can't get.
Her two single extravagant crutches (if I could even call them that at all)... she loved olives as a child (nothing exotic either... green olives, pimentos stuffed inside them, in a jar) but her family of six couldn't afford them. She had them at church and at the neighbors but never at home. And cheese. She was raised on fake government cheese but occasionally would have something that wasn't surplus when at the neighbors...
to this day our fridge always has two jars of standard cocktail olives and a block of any type of cheese from any manufacturer as long as it isn't generic. The two jars and block might never even get opened but there they sit. I respect that even though one could opine that that's wasteful.
Our daughter, when young and not knowing the backstory, would make fun of it. I told her the story (my wife seldom revisits her childhood in conversation) and now our daughter makes sure the two jars and block are never touched by her.
I think it's symbolic, the olives and cheese, to my wife that she overcame her childhood and succeeded.

I can afford the watches I currently own, perhaps even a few more before I would need to start selling some I don't wear that often, but I'm starting to think the watches are wearing me... and it's something I am not comfortable with.

Anyway, just some outward rambling.

Wow your story literally brought tears to my eyes, all power to you and your wife!

I need to inwardly digest your contentions before formulating a reply, suffice to say I like you have dealt with the collecting bug since childhood and in recent years would describe it as innocent enjoyment gone unchecked.

More later