I hear you - the "on paper" lug to lug sounds large (and was a concern I shared). I have 17cm / 6.75" wrists, so not the largest wrists and I can say that the watch feels comfortable and not too large across the wrist - although I might not go any bigger.
I think there are two reasons for the wingspan being more manageable in person vs on paper:
- The case shape curves down at the lugs, which nicely flows the shape of the watch to contour to smaller wrists than you'd think
- The end links feature a pivoting joint to the first link of the bracelet, so unlike many modern Rolex models the bracelet can articulate more where it joins the watch head (these Rolex models feature a fixed and protruding end link, adding to the wingspan).
You know your wrists and tastes better than anyone - but I would still recommend getting them on your wrist in person before writing off the larger 41 model. Best of luck.
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