Things you learn never to do in life…

[Walrus]

JwRosenthal

This is something my wife has taught me and it’s changed my life- empathy.

I used to be very quick to say “fυck that deuche”. I’ve learned to take a beat before reacting to someone and think about what could they potentially be going through that would cause their behavior..maybe they spilled their coffee on themselves this morning and it just set the tone for their day, maybe they are having a mental health crisis and need to punch down, maybe they are so lonely that they are looking for any kind of interaction and negative is just as welcome as positive…or maybe they are just a dueche.
Going to empathy before anger may not only let someone know that you aren’t their enemy, but it lets them also know that someone is earnestly listening. Plus you feel a hell of a lot better knowing you tried to be a mensch that reacting like an asshole.

Years ago I was working at a facility we were dividing up new cases and one was someone coming out prison after 20 odd years for murder. It was just the DOC face sheet no details on the crime but I’m pretty sure the dude was just turning 40. No one wanted the case so I said “wtf I’ll take it”. Turns out when he was 18 he was a driver (getaway guy) in a robbery that went very bad. He was just a young punk at the time caught up in drugs and him and his buddies needed money for a fix. Due to him being part of a felony in which felony murder was committed he caught the whole charge. To this day he was probably one of the nicest guys I ever worked with. Twenty years later his head was still spinning on how his actions lead to someone losing their life. He told me the whole story which I won’t go into but made no excuses or complain he got a “bad rap” we were able to find him employment at a machine shop and last I heard he was still doing well but he will be carrying that full murder charge the rest of his life. You go through a lot of changes between 18yo and 40yo so yes I also try to withhold judgement as with so many other things I am so often wrong if I don’t take the time to dig a little deeper.

 

[__ryan__]

vintage hab

I'm originally from the Great White North, where typically we ask people how they are when we're interested. I ended up marrying a southern girl and we eventually moved to the southeast of the USA. Everyone would greet me with "How yah doing?", and so I would start to tell them... only to have them look at me strangely and walk away... I eventually figured out that southern friendliness is somewhat of a myth, and "How yah doing?" is really just code for "Hello". 😗

Bless your heart

 

[cvalue13]

dennisthemenace

When I'm paying upwards of fifty quid for a ten minute slot with my doctor, I'll ask what I like.

Menace 😁

 

[JwRosenthal]

__ryan__

Bless your heart

Oh sweetie, I’m glad you think you can pull that off.

 

[Walrus]

So here is another crappy life thing This was enclosed in a New Years card my wife’s old professor sent us. We enjoy visiting him although my wife finished her undergrad work years before we met. This guy is one of the humans who’s mind works on an elevated level but has an uncanny ability to explain advanced things to a layman even as simple as me. Really a pleasure to speak with although after having dinner at his home you need to stop and get some take out as food is like a secondary thought to these humans. But don’t be overly dedicated to those who sign your check, they don’t have your best interest in mind. I’m not part of the anti work movement or any of that nonsense but damn it’s tough out there. Please excuse the chicken scratch I’m trying to remove some info to protect those involved

 

[DaveK]

I’ve learned that you should never ask if there is rust on your Omega buckle

 

[M'Bob]

DaveK

I’ve learned that you should never ask if there is rust on your Omega buckle

Fantastic!

 

[M'Bob]

JwRosenthal

I used to be very quick to say “fυck that deuche”.

???

 

[kkt]

vintage hab

I'm originally from the Great White North, where typically we ask people how they are when we're interested. I ended up marrying a southern girl and we eventually moved to the southeast of the USA. Everyone would greet me with "How yah doing?", and so I would start to tell them... only to have them look at me strangely and walk away... I eventually figured out that southern friendliness is somewhat of a myth, and "How yah doing?" is really just code for "Hello". 😗

Yes, and not just in the southeast. If someone asks you "How do you do?" the last thing they want to know is how you are.

 

[__ryan__]

JwRosenthal

Oh sweetie, I’m glad you think you can pull that off.

As someone not originally from the south, that one always drove me (and my wife) up the wall

 

[cvalue13]

vintage hab

I'm originally from the Great White North, where typically we ask people how they are when we're interested. I ended up marrying a southern girl and we eventually moved to the southeast of the USA. Everyone would greet me with "How yah doing?", and so I would start to tell them... only to have them look at me strangely and walk away... I eventually figured out that southern friendliness is somewhat of a myth, and "How yah doing?" is really just code for "Hello". 😗

In the south, if someone says “How ya’ doin?” you simply respond “fine, and you?” and they say “fine, too, thanks for asking.”

In the Great White North, if someone says “How are ya, now?” you simply respond “Good n’ you?” and they say “Not s’bad.”

Expecting anything more than that, in either country, is sort of on-the-spectrum behavior

 

[Archer]

I have learned that you don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind, you don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger, and you don't mess around with Jim.

 

[cvalue13]

Of course, in NYC, if someone looks up from the sidewalk and makes eye contact, you simply respond “Da fook yew lookin’ at ova-ere?” and they only respond if they why to find out

 

[JwRosenthal]

I have a co-worker who works in another division that I had been cordial with but never really spoke with other than pleasantries. One day were both standing on a construction site waiting for others to come for a walk through and she asked “So, how are you doing, James”.
I responded “feeling a little bloated and uncomfortable in my own skin today. Haven’t been sleeping well and my anxiety is pretty high. How are you?”
She paused for a second, nodded then replied “my husaband and I have been at each-others throats lately becuase we haven’t been sleeping due to our 3 year old not sleeping, I feel like I’m losing my edge at work and everyone sees it, and I am generally not feeling good about myself”.
We talked for a while after, we actually stop to talk to each other now when we pass in the hallways and the conversation is always very real and honest. It’s refreshing.

 

[Alpha]

Major fail yesterday, admiring my ladyships hair and I genuinely was and asked if she was using silver shampoo, frosty didn't come close 🙁
Some slight signs she may be thawing out today 🤔

Perhaps time I just sat quietly in a corner 🤦

 

[Archer]

Alpha

Major fail yesterday, admiring my ladyships hair and I genuinely was and asked if she was using silver shampoo, frosty didn't come close 🙁
Some slight signs she may be thawing out today 🤔

Perhaps time I just sat quietly in a corner 🤦

 

[Walrus]

Archer

I have learned that you don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind, you don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger, and you don't mess around with Jim.

Ya but last week he took all my money and it may sound funny but I come to get my money back.

 

[Walrus]

dennisthemenace

When I'm paying upwards of fifty quid for a ten minute slot with my doctor, I'll ask what I like.

I had the blood part of a physical done a while back. Normally you do that you hear nothing you know your good. This time they called me wanted me to come in. Of course they won’t say what’s up on the phone so I head down figuring I got a tumor and will be given a time stamp for my departure from this shit hole (sorry I mean earth) anyway I get in prepared for the worse and he says “well everything is good but your cholesterol was a bit elevated” and gives me a handout about eating more salad and less pasta etc. I could have printed it online or he could have mailed it. I asked him to write me another blood test for the following week. Didn’t change a damn thing just extended my fasting by 6 hours called his office and they “yes it was fine.” I probably forgot and put cream in my coffee on the day of that test but damn they now how to put some fear in you sometimes. So I payed my co pay for a print out of easily obtainable information.

 

[TheGreekPhysique]

Archer

If this is a serious statement, then you have clearly been affected by the propaganda that is put out by your country's for profit healthcare system and their lobbyists. They make great efforts to paint any system other than theirs as being substandard with talk of "death panels" here and nonsense like that.

Our system here is far from perfect, and could have many improvements certainly, but we spend less per capita than the US, have better overall outcomes (as do the majority of single payer systems, of which ours is one of the worst performing unfortunately), we have greater life expectancy, lower infant mortality rates, etc.

From the perspective of someone who is a regular user of the system here, have I ever waited 4-6 months for an appointment?

From my GP? Nope.
From my dermatologist? Nope.
From my rheumatologist? Nope.
From my cardiologist? Nope.
From my physiotherapist? Nope.
From any other medical practitioner? Nope.

So they either somehow know months before I do that I need the appointments and have pre-booked me even before I call, or the idea that this is the norm here is complete nonsense. I think I know which is more likely.

Cheers, Al

I don’t want to detract from the good natured humor of this thread but the argument presented here is so misguided I honestly don’t know where to start.

 

[Archer]

TheGreekPhysique

I don’t want to detract from the good natured humor of this thread but the argument presented here is so misguided I honestly don’t know where to start.

Please enlighten me on your expertise of the Canadian health care system...