Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics]

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Dentist vanity plate:

CME4DK

Our town dentist drove around with his vanity plates DRDK
 
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it-makes-sense-why-im-oblige-to-feed-him-v0-gdbk7brhkofd1.png
 
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An elderly man who's hard of hearing visits the doctor with a mystery disease. His wife accompanies him to the appointment. The doctor examines the old man, but can't determine what the problem is. "We'll need several samples for testing," says the doctor. "We'll need a urine sample, a semen sample, and a stool sample." "WHAT DID HE SAY?" shouted the old man to his wife. "HE WANTS YOUR UNDERWEAR," shouted back his wife.
 
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The best method of pain management at the dentists is once sitting in the chair, is to grab the dentist by the balls ans say "We're not going to hurt one another are we!"

Success rate?
 
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The Admiral was visiting one of his ships. When having tea he noticed that every biscuit has the ship’s insignia embossed on it. He is impressed and calls the cook to ask him how he does this.

Cook: When rolling the biscuits I slap each one onto my belt buckle before putting them in the oven.

Admiral: That’s pretty unhygienic.

Cook: In that case sir, I’d suggest you skip the doughnuts….