Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics]

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My complicated watch stopped again... is it an empty battery or the astronomical Mayan calendar with lunations counter complication ?
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It’s been said that the best protection against car theft, is owning a manual transmission vehicle. Unfortunate not a whole lot of options left in the U.S. It is sad tho.

Honda made a batch of manual transmission Accords just three years ago 😀
 
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this is for everyone who owns a vehicle

have u ever noticed the little man pooping on ur dashboard ?
Edited:
 
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Only for those in colder climes. I'll check mine when winter arrives, it does get to -8 here so in the range.
 
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...
Thats an old Journo trick - if somone is retiring or moving on it is worth checking articles / they used to do it fairly often.
Some are kinder than others :0)
 
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Jeff Bezos staggered into the emergency room at his local hospital.

The on-duty ER physician recognized him immediately and rushed over to ask what was wrong.

"I don't know Doc," moaned Bezos, "But I feel like a million bucks!