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Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

akshayluc420
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Apologies Everyone, did not mean for the thread to take this turn again, my bad.🤔

Let's put down our blades shall we?

You-little-fker.jpg
 
Tony C.
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potion2.jpg
 
Dan S
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U ulackfocus
For a thread supposedly about jokes, it isn't very funny anymore.

It actually doesn't surprise me that a thread about humor would veer continually into uncomfortable and contentious areas. By its very nature, humor involves "the unexpected" and is often provocative. As long as this thread exists, I think it will need to be reined-in time and time again.
 
ras47
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Warning: Political Humor
(I heard this from a girl that describes herself as a "flaming liberal")

How many liberals does it take to change a lightbulb?
30 Million. One to screw in the new bulb and the rest to make the old bulb feel better about itself for not working.
 
BlackTalon
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ras47 ras47
Warning: Political Humor
(I heard this from a girl that describes herself as a "flaming liberal")

How many liberals does it take to change a lightbulb?
30 Million. One to screw in the new bulb and the rest to make the old bulb feel better about itself for not working.
I assume they also worked to reverse any humility that bulb had suffered due to being body-shamed, as it wasn't very slender...
 
Fritz
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The hungry Irishman's problem:

Eat the potato

or wait for it to ferment....
 
ras47
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Fritz Fritz
The hungry Irishman's problem:

Eat the potato

or wait for it to ferment....


Where does an Irish family go for a vacation?
To a different bar.
 
Canuck
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Irish guys aren’t as tough as some folks say they are. Me and seven other guys almost beat one up, one time.
 
U
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ras47 ras47
Where does an Irish family go for a vacation?
To a different bar.

😜

I am TOTALLY using that. Very soon. 👍
 
dennisthemenace
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An Irish guy walking along a beach comes across an old lamp. He picks it up and gives it a rub and a Genie pops out.
Thank you for releasing me says the Genie, I will grant you two wishes.
The Irish guy thinks about it for a minute and tells the Genie his first wish is for a never ending bottle of Guinness. There is a puff of smoke and sure enough the Irishman has a bottle of Guinness and a pint glass in his hands . He fills the glass from the bottle and drinks his pint. Sure enough, the bottle is still full.
That's amazing says the Irishman to the Genie. The Genie replies, your wish is my command, now what is your second wish?
The Irishman thinks about it for a minute, then tells the Genie he would like another one the same. 🤦
 
Wivac
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When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put my foot down
 
Darlinboy
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Buddihist walks up to the hot dog vendor and says, “Make me one with everything.”
 
Darlinboy
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Guy walks into a bar with a tiny steering wheel poking out of his fly.

The bartender say “Hey, what’s with the steering wheel poking out of your fly??”

Guy says “It’s driving me nuts!”
 
Darlinboy
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I was in the city last week and came across a wino eating grapes.

I told him “You gotta wait!”
 
Darlinboy
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My buddy was feeling a bit down, so I told him ten jokes, to try to cheer him up.

Sadly, no pun in ten did. 🙁
 
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