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Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

hen
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911:911 what is your emergency?

Man: my wife is going into labour, the kid is coming and I dont know what to do.

911: is this her first born?

Man: no, its her husband
 
STANDY
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The gentleman who worked tirelessly on the throat lozenge has passed away.

There will be no coffin at his funeral
 
Pastorbottle
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Tony C. Tony C.
failure5.png

Well system failure is inevitable, so patience will be required as exactly when it will fail can be a bit unpredictable!
 
X350 XJR
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So David Is finally engaged, and is excited to show off his new bride to be.

"Ma", he said to his Mother, "I'm going to bring home three girls and I want you to guess which one is my fiance."

Sure enough twenty minutes later, David walks in the door with three girls following behind him.

"It's that one", said his mother, without blinking an eye.

"Holy cow", exclaimed David, "how in the world did you know it was her?"

"I just don't like her", she replied.
 
KeyWestPaw
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I heard the inventor of the USB A type died...
as they were lowering his coffin into the ground, then had to take it out, flip it over and try it again.
 
Tony C.
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Palin78.png



(Note that I'm posting a bit more frequently than usual due to the belief that increasingly larger doses of laughter are required to help mitigate the awful ramifications of many current events around the world...😁 )
 
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