Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

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Couldn't get my sound system to stop playing The Doors - tried everything and this finally worked...

 
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I wonder if in the excitement of rubbing his hands all over her body, he'll get wood?
His nose may not be the only thing that grows
 
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The battle of wits between Winston Churchill and George Bernard Shaw was well known.

They were entering a building with a narrow passage enough for only one person at a time.

Churchill said, “I will go first. I don’t follow idiots.”

Shaw smiled and said, “I do.”