Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

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Mr. Carlson wants to have a “turkey drop” dispensing free turkeys to families at Thanksgiving


Edited:
 
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I took a ride in the country where I saw a sign that read
"WATCH FOR CATTLE"

What nut would trade a watch for cows?
 
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A möbius strip stomps into a bar, winds his way over to the counter and slumps onto the stool, waving over the bartender.

"Oh man," says the bartender as he pours a stiff one for the möbius strip, "You must have had an awful day! What happened?"

The möbius strip nods, then quickly downs his drink and motions for another, gritting his teeth and snarling, "Where do I even begin!?"
 
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I had a phobia about the speed bump at the end of our road…. But I am slowly getting over it….
 
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This would be funny if I had not found it impossible to find any Sultanas without Sunflower or Palm oil in them at the local supermarket…
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somebody made a mistake
This is why it’s called a “second” hand.
 
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This is why it’s called a “second” hand.

First second hand and second second hand?????? Watch making is complicated!
 
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This is why it’s called a “second” hand.

…..buying a used one would it be a second hand second hand watch?
 
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First second hand and second second hand?????? Watch making is complicated!

……so, second hand second second hand if purchased used then??