Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

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Just when I think the world has got to the lowest point of stupid...... some corporation always gets the spade out and keeps digging....
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This is very timely, as I was just stewing about this issue on a trip to the U.S.

 
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I wish the default 'low' tip was only 15%... Some start at 25% and the top is 35% or 40%. So you have to go 'custom' to just to go with 20%.
 
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Damn hot here in Blighty…. Time for some vintage seaside humour…. And please don’t take it the wrong way….
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That looks like the clutch and brake pedals, no?
 
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Sunday safety …. No driving wrist shot risks…
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In my previous car, it was actually called "Launch Control".

Great when you were in a "Dad" car, at the lights, and a 20 year old in a flogged ex-fleet car kept revving and daring you.

Lights go green. Launch. Bye bye kiddo.

(I'm mature now, I don't do that any more).
 
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Oh, I forgot, I still do that in my new "Dad car" (now and again).

😁

 
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That looks like the clutch and brake pedals, no?

Nicely sleuthed! By the way: is that a monitoring bracelet on the left ankle?
 
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Oh, I forgot, I still do that in my new "Dad car" (now and again).

😁


swapping a story…. as a kid I got sent on an errand in a top end Rover Stirling. I drove it like a lunatic and did the launch control as you describe… but it was an automatic (which I had never driven / learning on stick shift) anyway having been first away in the excitement and in error I went to put the clutch in…. The brakes were also damn good / better than the boy racers behind me who needed an underwear change and thankfully for all of us managed to steer around me… happy days and what does not kill you etc….