Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

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(as a related aside, please repeat loudly and proudly after me: U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! 😁 )

 
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(as a related aside, please repeat loudly and proudly after me: U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! 😁 )

My wife told me about this and I couldn’t believe it. I make this stuff all the time for my kids. Microwave for 3 1/2 minutes then wait 5 minutes for it to cool down lol.
 
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Sorry can’t….
I think I qualify for at least enough of those medals to cover a full sleeve. I woke up today, wore underwear, ate breakfast, etc. I even just took out the trash.
 
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(as a related aside, please repeat loudly and proudly after me: U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! 😁 )

Wait - she thought that stuff was to eat? 😲 🤮
 
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I think I qualify for at least enough of those medals to cover a full sleeve...
Me too!
I woke up today, wore underwear, ate breakfast, etc. I even just took out the trash.
Hmm, looks like you have one more medal than I do. Congratulations!
 
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...and ironically:

"Gimme a motherf... coffee right now or I'll blow your damn head off!"

Free!
Edited:
 
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...and ironically:

"Gimme a motherf... coffee right now or I'll blow your damn head off!"

Free!
Good grief...you've obviously met "grumpy, morning, hasn't had coffee" me!🥱
 
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^ I wonder if that includes the boar hog my grandfather used to say was so useless...