Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

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let me know next time, I’ve got a line on some free roosters (photo from recent road trip 😀)


I’m glad the phone number is still legible. I’ve been looking for an apricot colored goat for some time now…….
 
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I’m glad the phone number is still legible. I’ve been looking for an apricot colored goat for some time now…….

You and most of us here on the forum.
 
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When you enjoy spending time in nature…



… but realize that you spend too much time on the OmegaForums

 
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When you enjoy spending time in nature…



… but realize that you spend too much time on the OmegaForums


Instant classic!
 
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Instant classic!
I considered starting a « post your best post ever » thread. But it would start with that one. @DaveK should start it and get 500 « likes ».
 
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I considered starting a « post your best post ever » thread. But it would start with that one. @DaveK should start it and get 500 « likes ».

Thx! You’ve emboldened me to throw this up on to Instagram as well
 
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Weird but the the art is amazing. The only SFW Crumb that I could find for posting.
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This cheese is made backwards, but it's still delicious. 👍
 
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Today's race strategy and tire selection notwithstanding, it does remind me of a another one...

Tony's boss arrived at work today in a brand new Ferrari.

Walking around it in the parking lot, Tony said admiringly "Holy cow chief, that’s a really amazing car!"

The boss nodded and said "Well Tony, if you work really hard, put all your hours in and always strive for excellence....

... I’ll get another one next year."
 
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A woman is playing golf and on the last hole she putts the ball in and hears a loud "OUCH!" She reaches into the hole and under her ball is a frog. She picks up the frog and he says "Thanks for saving me. I've been stuck in there for 2 days. For that I'll grant you 3 wishes. But, for every wish you ask for your husband will receive it 10 fold."

The women decides to go with it and asks for her first wish: "I want to be the most beautiful woman in the world." The frog replies "just remember, your husband will be 10 times more beautiful than you." She says "I'm not worried because I'll be the most beautiful woman in the world so my husband will only have eyes for me." Poof! She becomes the most beautiful woman in the world.

For her second wish she tells the frog she wants to be the wealthiest woman in the world. The frog tells her that her husband will be 10 times wealthier than her. She replies "I'm not worried because what's his is also mine." Poof! Her pockets begin to burst with money.

For her last wish she tells the frog she wants to have a mild heart attack. Poof! Her wish is granted and her husband has a heart attack 10 times milder than hers.
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