Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

Posts
2,554
Likes
3,668
let me know next time, I’ve got a line on some free roosters (photo from recent road trip 😀)


I’m glad the phone number is still legible. I’ve been looking for an apricot colored goat for some time now…….
 
Posts
5,081
Likes
15,687
I’m glad the phone number is still legible. I’ve been looking for an apricot colored goat for some time now…….

You and most of us here on the forum.
 
Posts
5,081
Likes
15,687
When you enjoy spending time in nature…



… but realize that you spend too much time on the OmegaForums

 
Posts
7,109
Likes
23,081
When you enjoy spending time in nature…



… but realize that you spend too much time on the OmegaForums


Instant classic!
 
Posts
3,058
Likes
32,266
Instant classic!
I considered starting a « post your best post ever » thread. But it would start with that one. @DaveK should start it and get 500 « likes ».
 
Posts
5,081
Likes
15,687
I considered starting a « post your best post ever » thread. But it would start with that one. @DaveK should start it and get 500 « likes ».

Thx! You’ve emboldened me to throw this up on to Instagram as well
 
Posts
1,152
Likes
5,974

Weird but the the art is amazing. The only SFW Crumb that I could find for posting.
Edited:
 
Posts
8,742
Likes
69,437
This cheese is made backwards, but it's still delicious. 👍
 
Posts
8,742
Likes
69,437
Today's race strategy and tire selection notwithstanding, it does remind me of a another one...

Tony's boss arrived at work today in a brand new Ferrari.

Walking around it in the parking lot, Tony said admiringly "Holy cow chief, that’s a really amazing car!"

The boss nodded and said "Well Tony, if you work really hard, put all your hours in and always strive for excellence....

... I’ll get another one next year."
 
Posts
11
Likes
85
A woman is playing golf and on the last hole she putts the ball in and hears a loud "OUCH!" She reaches into the hole and under her ball is a frog. She picks up the frog and he says "Thanks for saving me. I've been stuck in there for 2 days. For that I'll grant you 3 wishes. But, for every wish you ask for your husband will receive it 10 fold."

The women decides to go with it and asks for her first wish: "I want to be the most beautiful woman in the world." The frog replies "just remember, your husband will be 10 times more beautiful than you." She says "I'm not worried because I'll be the most beautiful woman in the world so my husband will only have eyes for me." Poof! She becomes the most beautiful woman in the world.

For her second wish she tells the frog she wants to be the wealthiest woman in the world. The frog tells her that her husband will be 10 times wealthier than her. She replies "I'm not worried because what's his is also mine." Poof! Her pockets begin to burst with money.

For her last wish she tells the frog she wants to have a mild heart attack. Poof! Her wish is granted and her husband has a heart attack 10 times milder than hers.
Edited: