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Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]
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Bob Neville
·An engineering student rides his new bike up to the dorm and is greeted by a fellow engineering student.
"Nice bike, when did you get it?"
"Around midnight last night. You wouldn't believe how I got it. I'm walking across the quad after working in the lab, and the homecoming queen, obviously very intoxicated, rides up to me on this very bike and right there in the middle of the quad she drops the bike to the ground, takes off all of her clothes, and says to me 'take whatever you want!'"
His friend pauses and then nods approvingly "Great decision, there's no way her clothes would have fit you."
"Nice bike, when did you get it?"
"Around midnight last night. You wouldn't believe how I got it. I'm walking across the quad after working in the lab, and the homecoming queen, obviously very intoxicated, rides up to me on this very bike and right there in the middle of the quad she drops the bike to the ground, takes off all of her clothes, and says to me 'take whatever you want!'"
His friend pauses and then nods approvingly "Great decision, there's no way her clothes would have fit you."
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RonJ
·Not exactly what he was expecting . . .
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Darlinboy
··Pratts! Will I B******S!!!"I took my wife to the doctor today to sort out her Tourette's syndrome," related Fred to his buddy Joe as they sat at the bar.
"But the doctor told me she doesn't have tourette's at all," he continued, taking another sip of his beer.
"Turns out I really am a 🤬🤬🤬 and when she continually says to 🤬🤬 - she really does want me to 🤬🤬!"
"But the doctor told me she doesn't have tourette's at all," he continued, taking another sip of his beer.
"Turns out I really am a 🤬🤬🤬 and when she continually says to 🤬🤬 - she really does want me to 🤬🤬!"
Edited:
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Revo
·
I thought was "I dunno, I mean if that's an XR3i with no rot in the sills and fairly low mileage at a good price then he'd probably be pretty pleased." Honestly, if I was offered a 34 year old escort with a great body (no filler) and clearly bit of a goer my only concern would be E10 fuel and state of the cam belt. Nice pair of Luca spots on the grill it would look great. Anyone else getting old too, or is just me?
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Omegafanman
·I thought was "I dunno, I mean if that's an XR3i with no rot in the sills and fairly low mileage at a good price then he'd probably be pretty pleased." Honestly, if I was offered a 34 year old escort with a great body (no filler) and clearly bit of a goer my only concern would be E10 fuel and state of the cam belt. Nice pair of Luca spots on the grill it would look great. Anyone else getting old too, or is just me?
I was actually very disappointed way back 37 year ago.... but made up for it with a white XR3I and a white Opel Manta at later dates (may they all rust in ..peace... I mean pieces :0)
.
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Bob Neville
·A guy walks into a bar and sees just one lonely patron hunched over. Directly in front of him on the bar is a one-foot-tall grown man in a tuxedo sitting at a proportionately sized grand piano playing a beautiful concerto.
The guy walks in and takes a seat.
Noticing an old Aladdin-style lamp on the bar directly behind the tiny soloist, he shoots his fellow patron a look as if to say "may I?" and gets a shrug in return.
The new customer picks up the lamp, covers a small diameter with a hot breath, and rubs his pocket hanky, ...and poof, out comes a genie.
"You are granted one wish, and only one wish, what will it be?"
The man blurts out "a million bucks!"
The genie replies "What?"
The man repeats "a million bucks"
The genie says "Errr, ...come again?"
The guy shouts "A MILLION BUCKS!"
"Your wish is my command" and as the genie disappears back into the lamp they both look around as they're now surrounded by a million ducks "quack, quack, quack, quack,..."
The new customer looks to his neighbor as if to say "what gives?" to which the original patron replies "you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?"
The guy walks in and takes a seat.
Noticing an old Aladdin-style lamp on the bar directly behind the tiny soloist, he shoots his fellow patron a look as if to say "may I?" and gets a shrug in return.
The new customer picks up the lamp, covers a small diameter with a hot breath, and rubs his pocket hanky, ...and poof, out comes a genie.
"You are granted one wish, and only one wish, what will it be?"
The man blurts out "a million bucks!"
The genie replies "What?"
The man repeats "a million bucks"
The genie says "Errr, ...come again?"
The guy shouts "A MILLION BUCKS!"
"Your wish is my command" and as the genie disappears back into the lamp they both look around as they're now surrounded by a million ducks "quack, quack, quack, quack,..."
The new customer looks to his neighbor as if to say "what gives?" to which the original patron replies "you really think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?"
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hmmmcamu
·
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Darlinboy
··Pratts! Will I B******S!!!Bigfoot is often confused with Sasquatch ...
Yeti never complains.
Yeti never complains.
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Tony C.
··Ωf Jury member“We must believe in luck. How else can we explain the success of those we don’t like?”
- Jean Cocteau, 1955
- Jean Cocteau, 1955
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Archer
··Omega Qualified Watchmaker
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SmithSJ
·One for the UK contingent after the weekend you may have had......
:0)..
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Archer
··Omega Qualified Watchmaker
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Archer
··Omega Qualified Watchmaker
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CdnWatchDoc
·
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