Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

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For those not in the know...the above is not the preferred method of attaching a bridge to the body of a guitar. Below is how Martin Guitar does it. 1974 D28.

have fun
kfw
 
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The COVID mask for 'Alien' fans - especially good for keeping people at a distance.

 
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Here you go:

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. She was not aware that her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet.
Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "£250."
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mum's lover are in the closet together.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
Man: "That's nice."
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "I'll tell."
Man: "How much?"
Boy: "£750."
Man: "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball!"
The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The son says, "£1,000."
The father says, "That's terrible to over-charge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Don't start that sh*t again."
 
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This looks perfect / no more seller remorse for me .... and after my latest purchase I can safely cycle to the post office and wire them the money.....
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The COVID mask for 'Alien' fans - especially good for keeping people at a distance.


Damn..... buyer remorse again for me.... at least he has a new coat for the winter :0)
It never comes like the bloody advert :0)
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Another dusty day emptying my bagless Dyson vacuum cleaner .....into........ a bag... ho-hum ... that is progress for you I guess :0)

They will be selling $500 hairdryers next ..........
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Edited:
 
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There's a new COVID-19 test.

Take a beer and pour it into a glass.
Smell the beer.
Drink some of the beer.

If you can smell the beer and taste the beer you do not have COVID-19.

Repeat often to make sure.
 
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There's a new COVID-19 test.

Take a beer and pour it into a glass.
Smell the beer.
Drink some of the beer.

If you can smell the beer and taste the beer you do not have COVID-19.

Repeat often to make sure.

Will any beer work?

 
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Will any beer work?


No, because that will kill your taste buds as much as the virus will!