Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread [No politics/religion]

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I recall someone who worked on the UK early rocket programmes / Skylark rocket (UK 1957) telling me that a fly weight / gyro arrangement was used to aid stabilisation. On the drawings this was called the Yo-Yo bay. A memo arrived from on high stating facetious names should not be used for project design variants. Later to test in flight stabilisation a large sprung hammer was designed. At a pre-determined moment this would release - a large moving mass which also struck the outer casing to see if the rocket could be thrown off course.... this was called the Bonkers bay...…… Makes one proud to be British :0)

This sounds suspiciously like the work of William Heath Robinson, but he was dead by then. Perhaps his influence was still strong.
 
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Luxury Car

But standing up? How is that possible in a car 😵‍💫
 
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Yes, that's a valid point. Still the right side driver seat is not having the facility; are British commonwealth people more prudish than others?
But standing up? How is that possible in a car 😵‍💫
 
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The novelist, Kathy Lette (I think) wrote a novel or article suggesting that the ideal car accessory for the character she was describing had a cigarette lighter plug-in facility which she called an ‘autosuck'.

Obviously this vehicle has one fitted as standard.
 
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1)

The Monastery was running out of money, so the Brothers decided to open a Fish 'N' Chips stand. A customer walked up to the window to place his order and told the Brother that he only wanted an order of Chips, but no Fish. The Brother replied - Sorry, I'm the Fish Friar, you'll have to give your order to the Chip Monk.


2)

Tarzan was been out hunting the evening meal. Jane was getting hungry and hoping he’d bring home something good to eat.

He finally came home and dumped a finch and two small Chimpanzees on the kitchen table.

Jane sighed, rolled her eyes, shot him a filthy look and said “Not finch and chimps again!”
 
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Luxury Car
It’s a personal service, hotline button

A customer requested, non-standard option

It’s Hugh Grant’s car
 
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More 1957 funnies.... I go to Church on Sunday … to beg forgiveness for what I did Friday.... and will do again on Monday :0)
 
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Last night, I tried sharing a bag of chips with a homeless man, who was sat on a park bench

He said, “Sod off, and get your own bloody chips!”