Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread :-D

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Interviewer: How do you explain this 4 year gap on your resume?
Me: That's when I went to Yale.
Interviewer: That's pretty impressive. You're hired.
Me: Thank you, I really need this Yob.

I can't believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician!
I was just sitting there doing nothing.......

What did Master Yoda say when he first saw himself in 4k?
HDMI

::rimshot::
 
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My partner asked if they were the only one I'd ever been with.

I said yes.

The others were all nines and tens.
 
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My partner asked if they were the only one I'd ever been with.

I said yes.

The others were all nines and tens.

I, for one, will need to mull that one around a bit. Aha! I just got it. You rated your partner as a ONE, while all the others were NINES and TENS.
 
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My wife apologised for the first time ever today.

She said she's sorry she ever married me.
 
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My partner asked if they were the only one I'd ever been with.

I said yes.

The others were all nines and tens.

That one snuck up on me...😲
 
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*** A woman has the last word in any argument.
*** Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

*** A Man lives longer if he get's get Married.
*** He's also willing to die sooner.
Edited:
 
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For you history buffs: can anyone name this famous duo?

 
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Are they both famous for not wearing underwear?
 
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Porky Pig (Looney Tunes) and Margaret Gorman (1921 Miss America)
Both were 1st's

You are warm, and that's a great guess. I'll give a hint: when you get the correct Miss America, it will become obvious...
 
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Miss America 1935, Henrietta Leaver? This was the year of the first Porky Pig cartoon. Bess Myerson, Miss America 1945?
 
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Miss America 1935, Henrietta Leaver? This was the year of the first Porky Pig cartoon. Bess Myerson, Miss America 1945?

You've got it. So the famous duo is...?
 
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Miss America 1935, Henrietta Leaver? This was the year of the first Porky Pig cartoon. Bess Myerson, Miss America 1945?
Think Broadway.