STANDY
··schizophrenic pizza orderer and watch collectorA woman was having a dinner party on New Year's Eve and wanted to serve her guests mushroom-smothered steak, but she had no
mushrooms and no time to buy them.
Her husband suggested, "Why don't you go pick some of the mushrooms
that are growing wild down by the stream?
"No, some wild mushrooms are poisonous."
"Well, I see squirrels eating them and they're OK."
So, she picked a bunch and washed, sliced and sautéed them for her dinner. Then she went out on the back porch and gave Spot, their dog, a double handful. Spot ate every bite.
All morning long, she watched the dog. The wild mushrooms hadn't affected him after a few hours, so she decided to use them.
The meal was a great success.
After everyone had finished, her daughter came in and whispered in her ear, "Mum, Spot is dead."
Trying to keep her head about her, she left the room as quickly as possible, called the doctor and told him what had happened.
The doctor said, "That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I'll call for an ambulance and I'll be there as
quickly as I can. We'll give everyone enemas and we'll pump out their stomachs and everything will be fine. Just keep them calm."
The doctor and the paramedics arrived and began to work on the dinner guests. One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them each an enema, and pumped out their stomachs.
After the last one was done the doctor came out and said, "Everything will be okay now," and with that he left.
The hosts and the guests were all weak sitting around the living room when the daughter came in and said to her mum..........
............"I can't believe that guy!"
"What guy?"
"You know, that one who ran over Spot; he never even slowed down.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
mushrooms and no time to buy them.
Her husband suggested, "Why don't you go pick some of the mushrooms
that are growing wild down by the stream?
"No, some wild mushrooms are poisonous."
"Well, I see squirrels eating them and they're OK."
So, she picked a bunch and washed, sliced and sautéed them for her dinner. Then she went out on the back porch and gave Spot, their dog, a double handful. Spot ate every bite.
All morning long, she watched the dog. The wild mushrooms hadn't affected him after a few hours, so she decided to use them.
The meal was a great success.
After everyone had finished, her daughter came in and whispered in her ear, "Mum, Spot is dead."
Trying to keep her head about her, she left the room as quickly as possible, called the doctor and told him what had happened.
The doctor said, "That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I'll call for an ambulance and I'll be there as
quickly as I can. We'll give everyone enemas and we'll pump out their stomachs and everything will be fine. Just keep them calm."
The doctor and the paramedics arrived and began to work on the dinner guests. One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them each an enema, and pumped out their stomachs.
After the last one was done the doctor came out and said, "Everything will be okay now," and with that he left.
The hosts and the guests were all weak sitting around the living room when the daughter came in and said to her mum..........
............"I can't believe that guy!"
"What guy?"
"You know, that one who ran over Spot; he never even slowed down.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!