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hen
·Another one of my ever popular disability jokes.
Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread :-D
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Tony C.
··Ωf Jury memberFrom the classic "yo momma" jokes genre...😀
The woman who carried you in her womb for your gestation period, and later expelled you from her vagina, has such an excess of adipose tissue that one could reap cardiovascular benefits simply from taking a brisk walk around her person.
The woman who carried you in her womb for your gestation period, and later expelled you from her vagina, has such an excess of adipose tissue that one could reap cardiovascular benefits simply from taking a brisk walk around her person.
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Wryfox
·
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pdxleaf
·What's the difference between a falling star and a double cheese burger?
One's a little meteor.
One's a little meteor.
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jsducote
·
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Ron_W
·In heaven the English are the police, the French the cooks, the Germans the technicians, and the Italians the lovers. And the Swiss run it all.
In hell the Germans are the police, the English the cooks, the French the technicians, the Swiss the lovers, and the Italians the helmsmen.
In hell the Germans are the police, the English the cooks, the French the technicians, the Swiss the lovers, and the Italians the helmsmen.
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Ron_W
·The tragedy of Canada is they could have had French cuisine, American technology and British culture.
Instead they ended up with British cuisine, French technology and American culture.
Instead they ended up with British cuisine, French technology and American culture.
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fiberguy
·.
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Pastorbottle
·Time for a cat pic!
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M'Bob
·What do you call a book club that’s been stuck on one book for years?
Church…
Church…
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jsducote
·
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Tony C.
··Ωf Jury member
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hen
·
Got to be a joke, but then again....Designers!
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Pun
·
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Pastorbottle
·
Which is no doubt why it is called a lighter!
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Joe_A
·
THE DOLPHIN TRAINERAn old man was driving in town, and having done a little shopping, was on his way back home.
Suddenly a young entitled guy in a Lambo Huracán, and wearing a Rolex, of course, slammed on the brakes in front of the old guy just as the young man noticed a beautiful well-dressed woman with big tits looking his way and smiling broadly. He could have been excused for missing the Prada bag and Bruno Magli shoes, but he noticed right away that she certainly filled out that Missoni sweater!
The old man’s reflexes may not have been what they once were and he slammed into the rear of the Lambo. The young guy jumped out yelling at the old guy: “You had better have 20 Grand in your back pocket asshole for the damage you caused now . . . or I will pound you into the ground like chopped meat before Old Death takes you with his scythe!”
The old man, badly shaken and agitated said: “You stopped so quickly . . . and I tried my best not to hit you, and I don’t have that kind of money . . . but let me call my son. He works as a dolphin trainer and I think he may help.”
The obviously distressed old man called his son and just as he was about to explain what happened, the young guy grabbed the phone out of the old man’s hand and yelled: “Listen here Dolphin Trainer, your old man just rammed my Lambo and caused a lot of %$#@ing damage. You had better get your ass over here - with or without your dolphins - and you had better bring 20Gs with you . . . or I’ll beat both your asses. Got it?”
The old man’s son calmly said: “Give me about ten minutes. I’ll be right there.”
Right on time, a pick-up truck pulled up and a big guy (wearing a Seamaster, of course) bounded out of the driver’s seat and headed right over to the kid with a look of determination. Before the kid could say anything, the son smacked him around a bit and said: "Here, let me help you with the body work." He then pressed the kid’s head into the side of the Lambo and knocked him to the ground in a disheveled heap.
“That should clear things up Dad. And Please. For the last time, I am not a dolphin trainer Dad. I train Seals . . . U.S. Navy Seals!”