This one is especially for academics, but you can revise it to work with almost any office job: Dr. Bob Richards, a Biology professor at the university, walks into the atrium of the office of the Head of the Biology Department and asks his PA if he's available. Looking at the Head's closed office door behind her, the PA replies, "certainly, Dr. Richards, he'll be with you in a moment, he's just on an important call with the Dean right now. Something about a big gift from one of the alumni." Bob looks around and sees that Dr. Jane Smith, another professor in the department, is already waiting there as well. "Hi, Jane, what brings you here?" he asks as he sits down. "Well," Jane replies, "I heard about that large gift from the alumni, and I was hoping that some of it could be used to support my new research! How about yourself?" "Well," Bob responds, "I heard the same thing. And since I am hoping to get promoted soon, and I need to earn it by doing some more administrative work, I thought I would see if I could convince the Head to let me help manage the alumni gift." Jane looks down and notices that Bob is holding a handful of bananas. "What's with the bananas?" "Oh, those," Bob replies. "Well, we were running some experiments with chimpanzees, and when the trial ended, I decided to take one home. Big mistake! It chewed up the furniture, bit my dog, peed all over the carpet, and even tried to have sex with my wife! I finally convinced the local zoo to take it, and I was just going to donate these leftover bananas to the Zoology Department." Bob looks down and notices that Jane, too, is holding a handful of bananas. "Ok," he asks, "what's with your bananas." "Oh, these," Jane replies. "I let my son adopt the school's pet monkey. Huge mistake! It destroyed my best dress, bit the neighbour, crapped all over our hardwood floors, and even tried to have sex with our cat! I finally convinced the local animal shelter to take it, and was just going to donate these leftover bananas to the cafeteria." "Well," Bob answers with a sigh, "I guess we both learned a hard lesson. I hope you get a piece of that gift." "Thanks," Janes responds, "boy did we ever. I hope you get to manage some of that gift." At that point, the Head of the department emerges looking tired and exasperated, but when he sees Bob and Jane there both holding a bunch of bananas, a big grin spreads across his face and he shouts, "thank goodness, volunteers!" He ducks back into his office, and when he comes out again, he's pushing a cage with an enormous gorilla in it. Moral of the story: whatever the reason may be, if you go to your boss with a handful of bananas, don't be surprised when he gives you a gorilla.