My English nephew was working for a multinational company and sorting out a task with an American female colleague. She made a suggestion with which he agreed and he responded, “Righty ho, I'll get on with it”. She made a formal complaint about him ….
I need a bit more practice before I take up magic as my new career. Farewell Jane, wife, mother, magician’s assistant.
a chameleon that couldn't change colours went to thew doctor., After extensive testing the doctor came in with a diagnosis - the chameleon had a reptile disfunction....
Read the words in appropriate voice. Especially the Rabbi, please use a thick Jewish New York accent, it really caps it off.
B.B King’s wife decided to surprise her hubby upon his return from a long tour by getting a large “B” tattooed on each butt cheek in honour of her great husband. When B.B got home a few weeks later she said: “Welcome home love!”, so she lifts her skirt, turns around and bends over. B.B looks at her back side then says, “Who’s Bob?”
One day a farmer was tending to his livestock when he noticed that one of his cows was completely cross-eyed. He called up a veterinarian friend of his who told him to bring in his cow. The vet took one look at the cow, stuck a tube up the cow's butt, and blew into the tube until the cow's eyes straightened out. The vet charged the farmer a hundred bucks and the farmer went home happy. About a week later the cow's eyes were cross-eyed again, but this time the farmer figured he could probably take care of it himself. So he called his hired hand over and together they put a tube up the cow's butt. The farmer put his lips to the tube and started to blow. Strangely, nothing happened, so he asked his hired hand to give it a try. The hired hand removed the tube, turned it around, put it in the cow's butt and started to blow. Horrified, the farmer asked "What are you doing?" To which the hired hand replied "Well, I wasn't gonna use the side that YOU had your lips on."