Three lawyers are partners for 50 years. One night, one of them gets rushed to the hospital via ambulance, and the other two find out about it, and get to the hospital as quickly as possible. By the time they arrive, the nurse tells them that he has died. The next day, the two return and ask the nurse again how Sam is. Puzzled, she tells them again that he had died. They go back again a third time, and frustrated, the nurse refers them to the attending physician. When they ask him how their partner is, the doctor is terse: “The nurse told you twice, and now I’m telling you for a third time- your partner has died.” One of the lawyers pipes up, and says, “We know; we just like hearing you say it…”
Hickory Dickory Dock The mouse ran up the clock The clock struck One...... And the other two escaped with minor injuries.
Waiting between Bishop Stortford and Harlow, to catch speeding drivers, a Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 11MPH. Says he to himself: "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies, two in the front seats and three in the back...wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?" "Ma'am," the officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers." "Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly...eleven miles an hour!" ....the old woman says a bit proudly. The Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that M11 is the road number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grins and thanks the officer for pointing out her error. "But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask...Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken, and they haven't made a sound this whole time," the officer asks. "Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We've just come off the A120."