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Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread :-D

  1. M'Bob Mar 16, 2024

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    A consultant was at a pier in a small coastal Mexican village when a fisherman docked his small boat. Inside the boat were several large yellow-fin tuna. The consultant complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied “Only a little while.” The consultant then asked why he hadn’t stayed out longer and caught more fish. The fisherman said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs. The consultant then asked the Mexican how he spent the rest of his time. The fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, and stroll into the village each evening where I drink beer and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senor.”
    The consultant scoffed, “I am a business consultant and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and, with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the fish caught using the bigger boat, you could buy several boats; eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then to Los Angeles and eventually to New York City where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

    The fisherman asked, “But senor, how long will this all take?” To which the consultant replied, “15-20 years.” “But what then, senor?” asked the fisherman. The consultant laughed, and said, “That's the best part! When the time is right, you would sell your company stock to the public. You'll become very rich, you would make millions!” “Millions, senor?” replied the fisherman. “Then what?”

    The consultant said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could drink beer wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”
     
  2. DaveK Yoda of Yodelers Mar 16, 2024

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    blufinz52, ghce and M'Bob like this.
  3. sheepdoll Mar 16, 2024

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    1710533538440.png

    Borrowed from the Fortean times. (yes it still exists.)
     
  4. Archer Omega Qualified Watchmaker Mar 16, 2024

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    Might as well have been...at least according to the source material...
     
    Pvt-Public, DaveK and X350 XJR like this.
  5. hmmmcamu Mar 16, 2024

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    ...
     
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  6. hmmmcamu Mar 16, 2024

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    mmmm ....
     
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    Jones in LA likes this.
  7. TimeODanaos Mar 16, 2024

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    Eve was British. For lo, Adam did gaze longingly upon her, and her thought was, "Oh hey, let's just calm down and try some of that awfully nice fruit I got today".
     
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  8. Scarecrow Boat Burt Macklin, FBI Mar 16, 2024

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    My wife just texted this to me :cautious:

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  9. Pun Mar 17, 2024

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    Remember…
     
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  10. hmmmcamu Mar 17, 2024

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    ....
     
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  11. 140dave Mar 17, 2024

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    Neighbors bumper sticker, makes me laugh every time.
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  12. Tony C. Ωf Jury member Mar 17, 2024

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  13. hen Mar 17, 2024

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    " A polar bear with the ability to live both in arctic and antarctic, it has massive mood swings like that of a manic depressive and has equal sexual desires for both male and female bears."

    "Its a bi-polar, bipolar, bi polar polar bear."
     
  14. Archer Omega Qualified Watchmaker Mar 18, 2024

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    I asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anesthetic. He said "Knock yourself out"...
     
  15. hen Mar 18, 2024

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    And off course, what watch is he wearing?
     
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  16. hmmmcamu Mar 18, 2024

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    ...
     
    Screenshot 2024-03-18 at 11.00.30 AM.png
  17. hmmmcamu Mar 18, 2024

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    Jones in LA, Omegafanman and Wryfox like this.
  18. hmmmcamu Mar 18, 2024

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  19. DoctorEvil Mar 18, 2024

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  20. M'Bob Mar 19, 2024

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    IMG_3509.jpeg

    “Either that horse is dead or my watch has stopped.” Groucho Marx