A Mobius strip is sitting at the bar, weeping quietly. The barman says "Hey, what's up?" The strip replies "Where do I even begin"
If you're American when you go into the bathroom And you're American when you come out, What are you when you're in the bathroom? European.
One early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up. MOM: Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school. SON: But why, Mama? I don’t want to go to school. MOM: Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go to school. SON: One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me. MOM: Oh! that’s not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school. SON: Give me two good reasons WHY I should go to school? MOM: One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old and should understand your responsibilities. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.