A man walks into a bar and sees a 5-gallon jug full of money at the end of the counter. He asks the bartender what it's for. "you haven't heard about our Challenge?" replied the bartender. "Here's the rules: Put $50 into the jug to buy in. You then need to polish off that gallon of Irish whiskey next to it in one swig, without spilling a drop. If you're able to do it, then you go out back. There's a bear chained in the shed with a toothache. You must remove the bad tooth with your bare hands. Finally, if you survive - the owner is upstairs. She's 90 years old, has been widowed for 50 and needs to be pleased. If you complete all 3 tasks, the jug full of money is yours." After a few drinks, the patron starts feeling brave and decides to test his skill. He drops $50 into the jug, picks up the gallon of whiskey and gulps it down. He then goes out back, where a lot of growling, roaring and ruckus is heard for several minutes. The man finally comes back into the bar, all bloody and his clothes ripped to shreds. After catching his breath, he slurs: "Uhh-kay, wheeerezth ol' lady wih the toothache!"
A farmer was milling about near his front entrance, and sees an official-looking car pull up. Out jumps a DEA agent: “We suspect you’ve been producing drugs on this property, and I’m going to have to search the entire farm.” The farmer says, “Just don’t go into the fenced area with the red sign.” The agent reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a laminated ID card. “You see this? “ he says. “This gives me all the power. So step aside!” “Suit yourself,” the farmer says. After a thorough search, the agent goes into the pen with the red sign. There is a lot of commotion, and the framer sees his bull chasing the agent in a circle, who yells, “Hey! What should I do?!” The farmer yells back, “Show him your fucking badge…”
The genius of Chuck Jones: more went into the creation of this character than one could ever imagine… Wile E. Coyote The coyote is quite an elegant character, but because of his build he has a problem conveying what he feels he is. In silhouette he looks like a dissolute Bugs. His arms and legs are much bonier than Bugs’s (when people are skinny, their elbows and shoulders look bigger), but their body shape is the same. The two characters have identical skulls, but the Coyote’s cheeks stand absurdly proud, whereas Bugs’s are confidently contained. Even the ears are similar, with the difference that the Coyote’s are a little bit broken. Wile E.’s hungry look is completed by a little pot belly. The main change in the way I drew the Coyote over the years involved the knees. When he comes to a stop in the later films, one knee is a little higher than the other, adding to his ragged look. These knees and the pot belly are usually enough to identify the Coyote. And I usually give him an extra toenail (I like to leave one hanging out.) The way I draw the Coyote’s fur adds to the unkempt impression. The fur is shown not over all the body but only where it changes direction over a joint or a curve in the face. Fur is not obedient to the body; it will cling only as long as the surface remains fairly flat. The Coyote’s hair is perfectly willing to cling to the upper part of his cheek, but it peels off in the break, just as it does on Bugs Bunny’s face. In the same way, excess flesh creases in the folds of a heavy animal’s body. The ragged tail was inspired by Japanese paintings of stormy oceans. When the Japanese artist wants to make a breaking wave frightening, he draws it like hostile claws rather than in the softer Western way. If you have a boat hanging on top of a wave in a Japanese painting, you know it’s going to go over. These are waves to die on, not to surf on. The normal way to draw the tail of any animal, from a squirrel to a dog, is to make it round and soft like the Western waves; reversing this created the Coyote’s tail. It is the difference between concave curves and convex curves, between the cuddly and the ratty.