After God finished his creation, he rested. He then went to check on his creation and noticed Adam was bored, so he decided to do something about it. The next morning, God called to Adam and said: "I have a surprise for you. Go through the forest, cross the river and walk around the mountain. On the other side of the mountain, there's a cave. Go inside and your surprise is waiting there." Adam started walking and stopped. He turned around and said: "God, what is a forest?" God said, "See all those trees and plants over there? That's a forest. Walk through it and when you get past it, you'll find the river." Adam headed into the forest and some time later, came back and asked: "God, what is a river?" God explained, "it is a body of running water. when you reach it, cross it to the other side and head to the mountain." Adam takes off again and some hours later, comes back. "God, what is a mountain?" God explains, "see that tall shape over there that forms a peak? That's the mountain." Adam sets off again, only to return and ask: "I'm sorry God, but what is a cave?" With yet another explanation, Adam heads out again. Near the end of the day, Adam comes back once again and asks: "One more question, God: what is a headache?"
Ever met the one, when you were on business in another city and after 12 hours of travel you just went to the hotel bar for a drink before hitting the hay, sat down on a stool and a woman next to you just says "fuck off!!". Being ex-mil, and putting up with shit like that all my life, I just looked at the bartender and said "two Johnnies on the rocks mate, both for me".
Besides the diabetes, stroke, and heart attack risk, why do they constantly fail to highlight this significant benefit?
Police in the UK are hunting for a distinctive man labelled 'an accomplished criminal' in connection with a 'serious offence'. West Yorkshire Police have highlighted that he can be easily recognised because he only has 'half an ear' on his right side. ....So far their appeal has fallen...... on deaf ear(s)... but he will get an earful when they catch him for sure
A young genius invented a thief-catching machine. For its debut, he chose 3 cities in which to display it in action. It was first installed in London - in one week, the machine captured 12 thieves. Next, it was displayed in New York City. In 24 hours, the machine captured 20 thieves. Finally, it was taken to Mexico City. Within one hour, the machine was stolen....