Seems like he's smarter than the two behind him...

 

This is actually not a joke product, and the website is even better
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When it pays to pay more…

 

A man walks into an office and wastes no time to start flirting with the receptionist. Upon getting the cold shoulder, he asks: "can I at least get your name?"

"Mercedes," she replies.

"Oh, are you related to the car manufacturer? That would explain your beauty!" the man tells her.

Mercedes quickly responds "only in class and cost of maintenance."

 

What is the difference between a Mercedes and a porcupine? Porcupines have pricks on the outside.

Materialistic Lawyer
A lawyer opened the door of his Mercedes, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious Mercedes. "Officer, look what they've done to my Mercedessss!!!", he whiningly said. "You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid Mercedes, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!" "Oh my god....", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex?

 

An alligator is roaming the streets of New York when he runs into an old friend.

"Hey Vinny, what a pleasant surprise to see you! What are you doing for a living?" exclaimed the alligator.

Vinny replies: "oh I just come by the courthouse, crawl under a BMW and wait for the lawyer to come back. When he does, I grab him by a leg, pull him down, shake the shit out of him and eat him."

The first alligator tells him: "oh Vinny, no wonder you're so skinny! If you're eating lawyers, once you shake the shit out of them, all you have left are a fancy suit and a briefcase!"

 

A man in a bar walks up to a woman and tells her: "want to go out to dinner later?"
The woman tells him: "sorry, I'm meeting some friends later."
The man insists: "do you have any plans for tomorrow?"
She replies: "yes, I'm having a headache."

A man in a bar walks up to a woman and tells her: "is this seat taken?"
The woman answers: "no, and if you sit down, this one won't be either."

A man in a bar walks up to a woman and tells her: "where have you been all my life!"
The woman responds: "hiding from you."

 

I've met all these women ...

 

I bet you most of us have, lol!