I tell you, life is about perspective. I have a friend: reads two books a week, never cooks a meal, sex twice a day, and exercising all the time. Yet he constantly complains about prison…
Damn auto-correct – it^ should have read uncircumcised toad in the hole. I extend my sincere apologies to all of my Facebook friends.
Isn't this supposed to be: What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbonzo bean? ....Well I don't know about you but I've never had a garbonzo bean on my chest! It works because technically a chickpea and garbonzo bean are the exact same thing.
A woman goes to an accountant for help filing her taxes. After asking her some basic demographic questions, he asks her what she does for work. “I’m a whore, “ she says. The accountant replies, “Oh, that is much too crass. Let’s try to re-phrase it.” The woman says, “Well then, I’m a prostitute.” “Nope, “ say the accountant. “That still won’t fly.” “Okay then, “ says the woman. “ I’m a chicken farmer.” “A chicken farmer?,” says the accountant. What does that have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?” “Well,” says the woman. “I raised over 5000 cocks last year…”