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Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread :-D

  1. Darlinboy Pratts! Will I B******S!!! Nov 8, 2022

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    Tony goes to a tool store to buy a chainsaw to remove some trees on his property. The salesman sells him hard on an expensive top-of-the-line pro model, noting that is has the capacity to cut through over 100 trees in one day.

    Tony, completely sold and well pleased with his purchase, takes the chainsaw home. It's late in the day, but he can't wait to try it out, and begins working on the trees in his back lot. But, after going at it until dinner time, he only manages to cut down one tree.

    “What the heck? How can I cut for hours and hours and only finish one trees?!” he wonders to himself. "Oh well, I will try it again tomorrow."

    So, the next day Tony gets up early in the morning and works until sundown, but despite his best efforts, still only manages to cut down five trees.

    Disgusted, the very next day he takes the chainsaw back to the store to get his money back.

    "This chainsaw doesn't work properly! I want my money back, and I want it now." Tony demands of the sales clerk.

    “Well let's see what the problem may be sir,” says the salesman, and they head out to the store's workshop to inspect the saw.

    After a visual examination, the salesman steps back and says, "Every thing looks fine, let's test it out, we have a big log out back we use for demonstrations."

    Setting the chainsaw down on a stand next to the big log the salesman reaches down, gives the chainsaw a crank, and it fires right up, revving loudly as he presses the throttle and cuts smoothly through the log.

    Tony jumps back in shock and alarm, shouting, “Holy crap! What’s that noise?!”
     
    Edited Nov 8, 2022
    rob#1, Joe_A, ghce and 7 others like this.
  2. M'Bob Nov 8, 2022

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    Omegafanman, kkt, bubba48 and 7 others like this.
  3. Wryfox Nov 8, 2022

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    Breaker breaker good buddy 1667919148116.jpg
     
  4. Tony C. Ωf Jury member Nov 8, 2022

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  5. RonJ Nov 8, 2022

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    Kind of ironic, isn't it?

    ferris-wheel-merry-go-round.jpg
     
  6. hmmmcamu Nov 8, 2022

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    ..
     
    314188903_493377579483527_1974003738979498604_n.jpg
    140dave, Omegafanman, bubba48 and 7 others like this.
  7. time flies Nov 8, 2022

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    photo by others.

    Screenshot_20221108-162523_Chrome.jpg

    have fun
    kfw
     
    Omegafanman, bubba48, DaveK and 6 others like this.
  8. SpeedyPhill Founder Of Aussie Cricket Blog Mark Waugh Universe Nov 9, 2022

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  9. M'Bob Nov 9, 2022

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    flw, Omegafanman, Paedipod and 13 others like this.
  10. Wryfox Nov 9, 2022

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  11. Wryfox Nov 9, 2022

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  12. Wryfox Nov 9, 2022

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  13. vitriol Nov 10, 2022

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    A serious measurement is going on here..
    i-img900x1200-1667883539dcqhj2294299.jpg i-img900x1200-1667883539gllijk294299.jpg i-img900x1200-1667883540morubv294299.jpg
     
  14. M'Bob Nov 10, 2022

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  15. MyVintageOmega Nov 10, 2022

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    A high ranking member from NATO and another high ranking member from U.N.... bumped into each other outside of their Physiatrists Office. One asked.. "are you coming or going?". The other replied.. "If I knew that, I wouldn't be here".
     
    Omegafanman and Duracuir1 like this.
  16. Wryfox Nov 10, 2022

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  17. Wryfox Nov 10, 2022

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  18. Wryfox Nov 10, 2022

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  19. Duracuir1 Never Used A Kodak Nov 10, 2022

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  20. Wryfox Nov 10, 2022

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    kkt, DaveK, Omegafanman and 7 others like this.