Bottom one isn't a joke...it's a statement!

 

People who use selfie sticks really need to have a good, long look at themselves.

 

Agree.

@ChuckMK23 and Mad Dog...

 

Sadly since the invention of the selfie stick, the number of Hooter Girl's taking pictures of customers has declined

 

Hear about the blind gynecologist? He can read lips...

 

Or about the lady tattoo artist who had designs on every man in town!

 

Might be better if the gynecologist was deaf instead of blind if he's reading "lips"

 

A woman hurriedly went into the pharmacy to get medication, got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys inside.

The woman found an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground.

She looked at it and said, "I don't know how to use this."

She bowed her head and asked God to send her some HELP.

Within 5 minutes a beat-up old motorbike pulled up, driven by a bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag.
He got off of his bike and asked if he could help.

She said: "Yes, my daughter is sick. I've locked my keys in my car. I must get home.
Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"

He said, "Sure." He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was open.

She hugged the man and through tears said, "Thank You SO Much! You are a very nice man."

The man replied, "Lady, I am NOT a nice man. I just got out of PRISON yesterday; I was in prison for car theft."

The woman hugged the man again sobbing, "Oh, thank you, God! You even sent me a Professional.”

 

Logically, that makes sense, but if you tell it both ways, using a deaf person isn't as funny. It is still amusing, because of the double-meaning, but a blind man can't read lips, so it suggests a tactile component. And the visual image is just better.

 

Charles Dickens walks into a bar, and orders a Martini. The bartender says, "olive or twist?"

 

Come on, by discussing this joke you ruin it....

 

Did you read the other post? An alternative format to the joke was suggested by another member, which was interesting. That engendered some discussion, but I don't think the joke is irreprarbly damaged. Do you generally not do well when someone shows you how a magic trick is done?

 

It's surprising how what's considered funny varies from one region to another. For instance, did you know that the people of Dubai don't find the Flintstones funny. But the people of Abu Dhabi do.

 

Apparently the craters on the moon are NOT impact based.

 

That Sir, is funny

 

L

 

Quality is picking up here... I'll try not to hurt too bad.


For bird lovers:
What bird signifies strength, power and patriotism (if U.S.)? Answer: the eagle!

What bird signifies wisdom, intelligence and is often depicted wearing glasses? Answer: the owl!

What bird signifies true love, total devotion and complete marital bliss? Answer: the swallow!

 

In what universe?

 

Probably the one that includes oral sex.