Clearly another hell of a night out with Robert Shaw..... what happens on the boat stays on the boat....
Besides the recent news from Down-Under: Ex-Australia PM held five additional portfolios, yes 5 ! Apollo LRV cartoon .
*A Year without Toilet? (Hilarious).- Divinity in WC ?* In the days when you couldn't count on a public toilet facility, an English educationist-a woman was planning an one year trip to India. She was registered to stay in a small guest house owned by the local Schoolmaster. She was concerned as to whether the guest house contained a WC. In England, a bathroom is commonly called a WC which stands for *Water Closet*'. She wrote to the school master inquiring of the facilities about the WC. The school master was not fluent in English, so asked the local priest if he knew the meaning of WC. Together they pondered possible meanings of the letters and concluded that the lady wanted to know if there was a *Wayside Church*(WC) near the house; a bathroom never entered their minds. So the schoolmaster wrote the following reply: Dear Madam, I take great pleasure in informing you that the *WC is located just 9 miles from the house*. It is located in the middle of a grove of pine trees, surrounded by lovely grounds. It is capable of holding 229 people and is *open on Sundays and Thursdays*. As there are many people expected in the summer months, I suggest you arrive early. This is an unfortunate situation especially if you are in the habit of going regularly. There is, however, *plenty of standing room*. It may be of some interest to you that my daughter was married in the WC; as it was there, that she met her husband. It was a wonderful event. There were 10 people in every seat. It was wonderful to see the expressions on their faces. *We can take photos in different angles*. My wife, sadly, has been ill and unable to go recently. It has been almost a year since she went last, which pains her greatly. You will be pleased to know that many people bring their lunch and make a day of it. Others prefer to wait till the last minute and arrive just in time. I would recommend your ladyship plan to go on a Thursday as there is an organ accompaniment. The acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere. The newest addition is a bell which rings every time a person enters. We are holding a bazaar to provide plush seats for all, since many feel it is long needed. I look forward to escorting you there myself and *seating you in a place where you can be seen by all*. With deepest regards, The Schoolmaster *The Woman never visited India*...
re: ^ I have a good friend who likes sandwiches consisting of peanut butter, pickles and bananas. Perhaps it's because he is not as flexible as a dog.
A truck driver walks into a cafe with a full-grown emu behind him. The waitress asks for an order. The truck driver says, “I’ll have a hamburger, fries and a coffee.” He turns to the emu, ‘What about you?’ ‘Sounds good to me, I’ll have the same,’ the emu replies. The waitress returns with the order. ‘That’ll be $9.40 please.” The truck driver reaches into his pocket, pulls out the exact change and pays her. The next day, the truck driver and the emu return. He repeats his order, “a hamburger, fries, and a coffee, please.” The emu repeats, “sounds good. Same for me, please.” Once more, the truck driver reaches into his pocket and produces the exact amount. This is their routine for a couple of days. One night, the two enter again. ‘I guess you’ll have the usual?’ asks the waitress. ‘No, it’s Friday night. I’ll have a steak, baked potato and a salad,’ says the truck driver. ‘Sounds great, same for me, too,’ says the emu. The waitress brings the order and says, “That will be $32.65” Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress can’t hold back her curiosity any longer. ‘You’ve really got me there. How do you manage to always have the exact change every time?’ “Well, love,” says the truck driver, ” a few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed and found an old lamp. When I cleaned it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.” ‘That’s brilliant!’ the waitress exclaims. ‘Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want, for as long as you live!’ ‘That’s right,’ says the truck driver. ‘Whether it’s a carton of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money will always be there.” Still curious the waitress asks, ‘But, what’s with the emu?’ The truck driver pauses heaves a sigh and answers, “My second wish was for a tall bird with long legs and a well-rounded bottom who agrees with everything I say.”
We decided to have a fish supper. I went to the fish and chip shop and asked for haddock and chips twice. The assistant said I heard you the first time.
To break the ice at a party one guest observing the pet dog cleaning its 'parts' said ''I wish I could do that'' Quick as a flash the host replied ''if you give him a dog biscuit he will probably let you''
