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Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread :-D

  1. blufinz52 Hears dead people, not watch rotors. Aug 9, 2022

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  2. NoName Aug 9, 2022

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    A group of 8-10 arabs were on a caravan ride in the middle of the desert!
    They stop in an oasis and one of them as he was playing with the sand he found a lamp!
    He then started cleaning the lamp and suddenly a big ginie comes out!
    He says to them "I will make true one wish of yours,but only one"
    The first one says! "I always wanted to be white,so this is my wish!"
    "I want to be white"
    and the ginie makes his wish come true!
    The second guy watching the first one does the same wish!
    Also the third one and fourth one etc everyone wished to be a white man, until the last guy!
    The last guy,frustrated with his companions says to the ginie "My wish is to
    make them as they were before!"
     
    Mark020 likes this.
  3. Pun Aug 9, 2022

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    Utility turned redundant..
     
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  4. vbrad26 Aug 9, 2022

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    And why is it that when my wife has a glass of wine while relaxing in the tub shes "living her best life"?
    But when I have a beer in the shower I'm an "aLcOhoLiC".
    Pshh:rolleyes:
    I mean I can't be the only one who's been thrown out of a Home Depot for drunk and disorderly conduct...right?
     
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  5. M'Bob Aug 9, 2022

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    Released June, 1947. Hmmm…a good reminder for those who got this, to remember to sign up for Medicare part A.
     
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  6. Tony C. Ωf Jury member Aug 9, 2022

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  7. Omegafanman Aug 10, 2022

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    A new universal catch all health and safety sign has been developed…
    .
     
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  8. Omegafanman Aug 10, 2022

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    Meanwhile in the UK (HIGNFY)…. As energy prices soar even higher new advice given to the market regulator …
    .
     
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  9. Wryfox Aug 10, 2022

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  10. Charlemagne1333 Aug 10, 2022

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  11. Archer Omega Qualified Watchmaker Aug 10, 2022

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  12. Pvt-Public Aug 10, 2022

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  13. DaveK Yoda of Yodelers Aug 10, 2022

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  14. M'Bob Aug 11, 2022

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  15. Tony C. Ωf Jury member Aug 11, 2022

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  16. M'Bob Aug 11, 2022

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    C197A9D0-088B-4D23-B594-D803D1D63045.jpeg

    I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so

    I sat down and had a cold beer.

    The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.

    My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing,

    and I said, "Nothing."

    The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?"

    At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.

    Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?

    Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?

    Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.

    Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion:

    A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."

    But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."

    I rest my case.

    Time for another beer. Then maybe a nap.
     
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  17. hmmmcamu Aug 11, 2022

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    HEY, HEY ...... !!!!

     
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  18. vitriol Aug 12, 2022

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    Not a joke per se, but it gave me a smile.
    1660202115254.jpg
     
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  19. Omegafanman Aug 12, 2022

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    I hope he can klingon ok...............:0)
     
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  20. SpeedyPhill Founder Of Aussie Cricket Blog Mark Waugh Universe Aug 12, 2022

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    Omegafanman and Charlemagne1333 like this.