And she just loves cream cheese!

 

If we see an apricot colored goat show up in the for sale section we'll know who is a goat flipper...

 

They do this all the time on the Rolex forum.

 

More like 1970

 

A motorcyclist identifying himself as a cyclist has set a new world record in cycling.

 

A bear walks into a bar.

"What'll it be, sir?" asks the barkeep.

The bear replies,"I'll have a.......................................................rum and Coke."

To which the barkeep asks,"What's with the big pause?"

The bear looks a bit confused, then shrugs and answers, "I dunno, I guess I was born with them."

 

My wife asked if I’ve seen the dog bowl.

I said I didn’t know that he did.

 

.

 

Still like this version even more...

 

Alright, I'm a dad...so...What kind of tree fits in your hand?

 

If your wife is cheating on you, rejoice! She could betray the homeland.

 

…..

 

I saw a guy the other day wearing a hat that said "I'm an alcoholic. I really like sitting outside and drinking beer all day!"

Actually, it didn't say all that, it just said "YETI".

But come on, that's what it meant. No one's that into coolers!

- comedian Pete Lee