Tell me a joke! The OF humor thread :-D

“Rich people need to buy a better toupee, or find themselves a new stylist…”

In the UK to improve citizen awareness weeks are being allocated to specific tax budgets.
All taxes in March will be for waste water treatment/sewerage......
So we all know we are in for a sh-t month.............
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Three guys are hanging out at the local bar, singing, laughing and drinking beer.

One of them takes a good long swig, then holds up the bottle to admire it.

"You know why American beer is the best in the world?" He says. "It's because we age it in barrels crafted of fine US-grown oak. That gives it a unique flavor that you won't find anywhere else in the world!"

"Ha, that is so not true!" his friend says. "Oak barrels? What a load of crap. Everyone knows that American beer is the best in the world because we grow the best wheat. That's what gives it that rich creamy flavor & body!

The third chimes in, "I don't know what you two are smoking, but I happen to know that American beer is the best in the world because of the fine robust non-GMA hops that are used - not that sickly overbred crap you get overseas."

They all argue back and forth, and because its late in the night and many fine American beers have already been downed, its starts getting heated. Then one of them stands up and says "Guys, hang on! We can spend all night arguing. Or, we can actually find out what really makes American beer the best. Lets get a sample and send it off to a lab for testing. Then we will know for sure!"

Everyone agrees that this is a great idea, so they pour some of the beer in a jar, wrap it up and FedEx it off to the lab for a full analysis.

A week later, two of the guys are once again hanging out at the bar when the third comes running along, waving a letter in his hands.

"Guys, guys! We got the results back!", he said excitedly.

They open the letter and read...

Dear Sirs

We ran extensive tests on your sample. The results show normal liver and kidney function, acceptable blood sugar levels and no signs of infection.

We are pleased to report that your horse is in excellent health!

Just finished a book about the world's greatest basement. It was a best cellar.

You do need to exercise the mind...
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It must have been so boring before mobiles were invented ;0)
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You think they would have learned after "Boaty McBoatface"...which I happen to think is a great name, by the way...

Inflation is cunning....... it means you have to have smaller celebrations (old and new containers :0)
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"Shrinkflation" ^^ is the most abusive form, I'd say.