Deep in his cups at the local bar, Tony hears about a prostitute at the local motel and, feeling a bit frisky, heads there and knocks on the door.. The door remains closed, but a sexy voice calls out, “Hello hon, what can I do for you?” Says Tony, "I’m here to get fued." “Sure honey, but first you need to slide $100 under the door." Fred digs out his wallet, slides five twenties under the door, then steps back and waits. After ten minutes pass and the door still hasn't opened, Tony steps up and knocks again... The sexy voice calls out again, “Hello hon, what can I do for you?” “It’s me,” said Tony, "I'm still waiting here to get fued!" “What again?”
Every evening after his surgical work at the hospital is is done, George stops in at the neighborhood bar. Each time he orders the same drink from Dick the bartender - an almond daiquiri. No one makes those quite as well as Dick does - no one! One night the bar runs out of almond syrup just before George stops in. Not wanting to disappoint his regular customer, Dick says nothing and instead makes the daiquiri as usual, but substitutes hickory nut syrup for the almond. The doctor takes a sip of his drink, grimaces and holds it out for a look, "Hey - Is this an almond daiquiri Dick?" Replied Dick sheepishly, "Sorry no, its's a hickory daiquiri doc."