All forum members on their deathbeds.........and with so many 'my grandfathers' watch posts these days...I bet the relatives will be saying if only he had bought more crap (well the good crap anyway :0) .
I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said "I'm a veterinarian, so I drive like an animal" It then dawned on me how many proctologists there are on the roads....
I told a coronavirus joke at a party last week. At first, no one laughed, but eventually everyone got it.
So these two guys were out in the desert when their rig crapped out leaving them stranded. After a couple days in the blazing sun, one of the guys starts to lose it and yells, "I can't believe I forgot to wear a watch! Not knowing the time is making me crazy!" Hearing this, his buddy strips his pants off and then lays on the ground with a full on erection. The first guy says, "What the hell are you doing?!" The guy on the ground answers, "Telling time, of course." Just then the guy on the ground starts masterbating vigorously. The first guy is shocked and yells, "NOW what are you doing?!!" The guy on the ground says, "Winding my watch..."
Had a noise in the diesel 4x4 the other week and spoke to the mechanic and mentioned it was sounding like a steam train. Straight away….”sounds like a injector seal, bring it in” Yep injector seal……
A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.