A young man went into confession crying, and told the priest:

“Forgive me father for I have sinned”.

“What have you done?” asked the priest.

“A few weeks ago I went to the library. I remained there until closing time and when I was about to go home, rain started pouring down. It was so intense I had to wait in the library. I had waited for a while with the librarian, a young attractive single girl, then one thing led to another, and I ended up sleeping with her.” The man stopped talking, but kept weeping.

“Well don’t cry son; it’s a sin you committed, but it is not that bad. You should say 5 "Our Fathers" and 5 "Hail Marys" and it will be forgiven”. Said the priest.

“But it doesn’t end there Father,” the man kept sobbing. “A few days later my elderly neighbor asked me to help her with her computer. Her husband was hospitalized and she couldn’t send an email to her son. I went there and fixed the problem, but when I was about to leave, rain started pouring down. It was really stormy and I had to wait. One thing led to another and I ended up having sex with the old lady,” the man cried.

“Oh dear! Well that makes it harder indeed, but still - you should say 15 "Our Fathers and 15 "Hail Marys" and you will be forgiven,” said the priest.

“Oh I’m afraid the worst part is still ahead,” cried the man. “Yesterday I went to the barber. I was his last client that day. As soon as he finished and was about to close the shop rain started pouring down so intensely, I had to wait with him. One thing led to another and I ended up having sex with him as well,” the man cried.

“Oh dear, oh dear; it is indeed worse than I imagined,” said the priest.

“So what should I do father?” the man asked.

“Well” answered the priest, “you should get the f#$% out of here before it starts raining!”.

 

Ancient scrolls finally unlock the mystery of the Fermi paradox...…………….

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and more hilarity from the author:

https://theoatmeal.com/comics

 

and another good one!

 

Speaking of a paradox...

 

This took me a minute or two. I was reading way too much into it.

 

Recently



And in response
https://mobile.twitter.com/oscarmayer?lang=en

 

Thought for the time....

 

This is why cats are not welcome in my yard. Owners beware...

 

The lads at work are trying to organise a hide and seek competition.

Turns out good players are hard to find....

 

Perhaps only Canadians might recall this, I remember a good laugh in high school because Consumers Distributing sold “personal massaging wands”. Now it’s Costco’s turn at bat. I’m wondering who’s going to walk up to the Costco checkout counter with a 3-pack of these

 

Thanks, @DaveK. I needed to know that! The mind boggles when thinking of how these might be used.

 

Just clear your browser history when you’re done your research

 

I wonder what the returns policy is on these?