Just hope your wife's name is not Lorena Bobbit....

 

I can see the Daily Mail front page story now.... "Yorkshire Man's Penis Cut Off and Strapped to Omega Watch!! Found After Opening Inner and Outer Boxes on the Side of Highway".

 

Anyone feeling the love yet?
Groovy baby

 

Yeah, this is fun when you're not looking to buy it. The other day, I was even willing to drive 6 hours each way for that speedy, but still no deal... WTF did he put it up then...

 

Sorry mate if it's going to take 6 hours to drive to me you aren't in the same county which in turn makes you a foreigner and as the ad States no foreigners. I'm trying to be flexible here so although I won't accept cash, though Connie pie pans are gratefully accepted.

 

I'll give you £1.00 for it by Paypal Friends. You might have to look after it for me for a few years - and wear it, as I don't want it it to seize up. My sat-nav doesn't work north of Watford, so it might be a lot of years, by which time it will have depreciated so I might well sell it back to you for £0.99. I know it's painful but I would be prepared to take the hit.

 

This guy has made the most sensible offer so far and I'm considering it even if he is a bloody southerner. I would rather be paid in pie pans though.

 

We leave all of the pies to you jolly northern chaps.

 

Now this bloke really has a point I must have slipped through the net, can the mods clarify how many posts before you can officially not sell a watch on here?
By the way I've told the wife this forum is full of tyre kicking time wasters on here. Keep up the good work fellas[emoji2]

 

You should just withdraw the listing. There's no way that pile of junk is going to sell here.

If you really don't want to sell it take it to Antiquorum. You'll be able to list it higher and be more disappointed when it doesn't sell.

 

For your sake I hope Fratello and Hodinkee don't catch wind of this offering. Your watch might go viral and end up on TV.
Or something...

 

You've gone quiet, so I'll reduce my offer. Ten bob - same conditions.

 

You'll never get a bite with that crummy spiel, you need something like this to reel the punter in.

Here's a down to earth, straight forward example from JLC.

Read and learn.

The much hoped-for and eagerly anticipated new Minute Repeater model by Jaeger-LeCoultre showcases a mechanical automatic movement perfectly meeting the desires of numerous connoisseurs. This new creation joins the Master Grande Tradition line, the epitome of the 19th century pocket-watch tradition. The 39 mm-diameter Master Grande Tradition à Répétition Minutes is entirely governed by the precepts of elegance and comfort, a sure sign of the strength exuded by a great classic.

Jaeger-LeCoultre and the Minute Repeater, a harmonious match
Minute Repeaters that sound the time in a uniquely musical way hold a special place in the field of horological culture. They embody quintessential sophistication. Unlike certain other complications involving intricate and learned concepts, the minute repeater exercises a direct and generous seductive appeal. It captivates by means of its very own channel: that of emotions.

At Jaeger-LeCoultre, which has made the minute repeater one of its favourite themes, springing surprises and eliciting a moment of amazement followed by the joy of recognising a strong, pure and intense sound, is a genuine vocation.
Several manually-wound mechanical watches provided with a minute repeater function have thus being created. But now, for the very first time in the history of the Master Grande Tradition line, this sophisticated complication is introduced in a version driven by a mechanical automatic movement. User friendliness is matched by the pleasure of admiring the finely crafted oscillating weight.

The crystal gong, a signature of the Manufacture
A powerful, clear and melodious sound is the ultimate goal of every master watchmaker. Decades of research, combined with endless patience, are required to perform the tiny empirical, almost instinctive adjustments that are involved. The acoustic quality of a chiming watch is above all based on the gongs, which are essential in producing the sound that is amplified and enriched by the case. These are the elements that endow the timepiece with its distinctive tone and character.
Jaeger-LeCoultre has developed a crystal gong with a square section, made from a special secret alloy and machined all of a piece, thereby creating an extremely rich sound. In addition, the Master Grande Tradition à Répétition Minutes is equipped with two patented trebuchet hammers that make a single and stronger strike on these crystal gongs whose heel is welded to the upper sapphire crystal. This ingenious device produces a loudspeaker effect that is the hallmark of the crystal gong.

Music first and foremost
The power of the sound is of little purpose if it is not matched by regularity. In this new creation, the striking regularity is ensured by the silent regulator that controls the energy delivered by the barrel of the minute repeater. The energy of the spring is released in a constant stream, ensuring a tuneful and continuous chime.

Nothing interferes with the listening pleasure: unlike the usual systems, this same silent regulator operates at just 20 decibels, a level verging on absolute silence. The steady emission of this meticulously orchestrated sound is thus unperturbed by any extraneous sound. This constant attention to details is a measure of the fervent enthusiasm that drives the engineers and artisans of the Manufacture.

An elegantly revisited push-button
The intention behind this new design is governed as much by aesthetic preoccupations as by a concern to ensure functionality. The Master Grande Tradition à Répétition Minutes is activated by a single push-button instead of the traditional slide system. Redesigned in a slimmer guise, it fits precisely into the case, on a diagonal from the crystal gong and thus enhancing the distinctive symmetry of this model. The layout of the watch thereby testifies to the quest for harmony characterising the Manufacture.

The sophistication of a gold oscillating weight
Powered by a mechanical automatic movement, this creation features a precious new oscillating weight that appears clothed in 22-carat pink gold, bearing the logo of the Maison and graced with polished and grained finishes creating a textured yet shiny appearance.

The artisans of the Manufacture in the Vallée de Joux are keenly aware that it is precisely the sum of these details that nurtures the passion for horology. That which abolishes any frontiers between a Minute Repeater and a finely crafted musical instrument. That which makes a watch an object of true meaning and beauty.

 

Wow, was that author on psilocybin 'shrooms?

Makes me wonder in which decade that was written, but sounds like the psychedelic 60's... or a recent marketing experiment gone 'wild' !

...and maybe a good example for our friend and OP, 'Event Horizon'...

 

Naah it sounds like Jaeger are more desperate to sell a watch than me.......
Bump for a bad watch anyone?

 

Ok I will bow to peer pressure and show I might not be as bad at advertising as some might think, here goes.
Hello everyone today I offer you a rare chance to own one of the most revered watches In The speedmaster line up. This watch boasts no less than eight hands that comprehensively not only tell the time but also the day, date and month of the year. On top of that this is one of the rarer speedmasters that has a twelve hour chronograph, yes twelve hours! This was essential when I was a sexual Olympian for timing my performance but a temporary bout of jellycock has forced me to sell this important piece of horological history. While I'm pushing rope I cannot bear to wear this watch which constantly reminds me of this short lived affliction. My doctor has ordered me to sell this timepiece in order to facilitate my full recovery. He has suggested I take baby steps and buy a one hour chrono instead. Anyway enough about me lets talk about this stunning time piece. The respected valjoux movement is one of the more robust and accurate of all speedmasters and this is no exception. Obviously the 39mm case is more in keeping with the heritage of the original speedmaster from 1957 and is the perfect balance between historic and modern time pieces. The watch in question comes as a full set with inner and outer boxes, paperwork and all the original pieces that comes with a new watch. The original bracelet is present but it also comes with a stunning black leather strap with contrasting stitching.
This watch was born in December 2002 and still looks as fresh as it did on the first day. The only blemishes on this watch are a light patina on the sub seconds hand and the merest of marks on one of the lugs. This does not detract in any way form the beauty of the timepiece but actually enhances the overall appearance of this stunning piece of history. You will be the envy of all your peers with this on your wrist that is why I could never put a price on such perfection. With this in mind I could not accept money for this watch as it's priceless, I will consider one of two options for this awesome beauty. I'm sorry folks your money is no good here it's either a pie pan or 2254 or its Quartz brother. I will submit hi res photos to all interested parties via email but be warned this will be love at first sight if you haven't seen one of these in the flesh.
Please note I have entered a couple sexual time trials so I will clean off any jizz or sweat that has protected the case over the years to reveal the true beauty underneath.
I eagerly await your responses on this once in a lifetime offer but be quick to avoid early disappointment.

Is this ok for the demographic on here?

 

I must learn to not read posts like this while sipping coffee!!!!!