Philip Stein “wellness” watches

[Pastorbottle]

One of these things has landed in my lap.

It’s a Philip Stein, Teslar wellness watch.
The manufacturer’s site https://philipstein.com/ claims that these watches have “Natural Frequency Technology” apparently they are meant to relieve stress, improve cognitive function and help with overall sleep function………..my inner cynic was screaming “Bollocks! “ as soon as I saw it.
So I removed the case back to find 2 Miyota cal 5R32 quartz movements so no great leap of technology to be found there

But the case back has 2 bits of copper foil stuck to a pair of small windows in it.

So I gather these 2 bits of copper foil are the secret to “Natural Frequency Technology” although the case back actually uses the phrase “Teslar Quantum Technology” ( Given the similarity to the name Tesla, I wonder if Elon Musk's army of lawyers didn’t put a stop to that )
And the case back also informs us that the chips were made in the USA…. I can only take that to mean the 2 bits of copper foil!

It never ceases to amaze me how gullible some people are to swallow all this new age, fish slapping, peace, bongs and brown rice hippy bullshit, hook line and bloody sinker.
The website features comedic pricing, lots of vague airy fairy bullshit, any very little in the way of useful information… nothing that I could see about such things a dimensions, which movements are used etc.

For those of you unfamiliar with the term fish slapping, see this:

Edited: Feb 27, 2024

 

[JimInOz]

Pastorbottle

...................................

It never ceases to amaze me how gullible some people are to swallow all this new age, fish slapping, peace, bongs and brown rice hippy bullshit, hook line and bloody sinker.

Meanwhile, back in Australia...............

I was amazed by Brocky's Polarizer in the late 1980s, but not amazed enough to cough up a months wages for one.
I was more amazed at the fact that any reasonable human being could believe that shit.

 

[JimInOz]

Pastorbottle

..............................
So I gather these 2 bits of copper foil are the secret to “Natural Frequency Technology” although the case back actually uses the phrase “Teslar Quantum Technology” ( Given the similarity to the name Tesla, I wonder if Elon Musk's army of lawyers didn’t put a stop to that )....

I suspect they were channeling Nikola Tesla, who was a believer in "natural frequencies".

 

[Pastorbottle]

I knew Peter Brock well…….well enough to know that he was gullible enough to fall for all various lines of bullshit that new age con artists like that prick the got him in to the polariser con.
The polariser was nothing but a plastic box filled with resin, bolted to the firewall and a sticker on the rear window that was supposed to be the antenna!
Supposedly it aligned all the molecules of the car making it handle better, more economical and produce more power!
How they thought that they’d be able to con General Motors into accepting it beggars belief!
Peter could drive a car bloody well, an absolute natural talent with a steering wheel in his hands and the media and public loved him, but that was the limit to his talent.
He relied on others for all the engineering, he just took the credit.

N.B. The Peter Brock referred to here was an Australian race car driver, not the Pete Brock from the USA coincidentally also a race car driver.

Edited: Feb 28, 2024

 

[Vercingetorix]

You removed the back. The special natural frequency Teslar plasma has now escaped. You’ll need to send it back for a refill or it will never work again.

 

[Pastorbottle]

Vercingetorix

You removed the back. The special natural frequency Teslar plasma has now escaped. You’ll need to send it back for a refill or it will never work again.

Ah that’s why it didn’t make me look and feel 20 years younger, send me off into a deep harmonious sleep, pay my bills and make my willie bigger!

and I just had a random thought…….if Philip Stein had’ s been born a girl or had a sex change….then would the result be Philis Stein!

Edited: Feb 28, 2024

 

[Pastorbottle]

Back to the Peter Brock / Pete Brock coincidence, there was one other coincidence…. Pete Brock designed the Shelby Cobra Daytona coupe when he was working for Shelby……Peter Brock was killed when he crashed a replica of a Shelby Daytona.
He probably should’ve been wearing a wellness watch!

Edited: Feb 28, 2024

 

[p4ul]

….or he may have taken the back off his too?

 

[DaveK]

Pastorbottle

…It’s a Philip Stein, Teslar wellness watch.

...It never ceases to amaze me how gullible some people are to swallow all this new age, fish slapping, peace, bongs and brown rice hippy bullshit, hook line and bloody sinker.

It sounds like you should get yourself a philistine watch next

 

[hen]

Oh no I invested heavily in natural Natural Frequency Technology, now I feel fish slapped like this:

 

[dsio]

Reminds me of those Power Balance hologram bracelet things people used to wear.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Power_Balance

 

[Archer]

My wife had some work colleagues over years ago, and one of them had one of these and asked me to replace the batteries. Yes, certainly nothing special inside, and when he told me what he paid for it I didn't have the heart to tell him that the movements were less than $5 each...



Thankfully that wasn't the only watch he had me repair for him - the vintage Vacheron was a much nicer job...

 

[Pastorbottle]

Well I actually put the strip thing on and…………had a bloody heat attack whilst wearing it.
I’m currently in hospital recovering from having 2 stents put in.
So such for wellness watches, more like unwellness!

 

[neilfrancis]

I sincerely hope you are joking, Sir.
If not, wishing you a speedy recovery.
What you need now is a 'Healing Timepiece', and I have found one for you.
https://italianwatchspotter.com/alchemists-healing-timepiece/?lang=en

 

[dsio]

Pastorbottle

Well I actually put the strip thing on and…………had a bloody heat attack whilst wearing it.
I’m currently in hospital recovering from having 2 stents put in.
So such for wellness watches, more like unwellness!

Damn that’s scary but at least you’re recovering now, thankfully the hospitals here are pretty damn good especially with insurance

 

[Pastorbottle]

Not joking on this one, dead set serious

 

[Waltesefalcon]

I'd ask for my money back on that watch.

Seriously though, I'm happy that you're still with us and recovering.

 

[Foo2rama]

Pastorbottle

I knew Peter Brock well…….well enough to know that he was gullible enough to fall for all various lines of bullshit that new age con artists like that prick the got him in to the polariser con.
The polariser was nothing but a plastic box filled with resin, bolted to the firewall and a sticker on the rear window that was supposed to be the antenna!
Supposedly it aligned all the molecules of the car making it handle better, more economical and produce more power!
How they thought that they’d be able to con General Motors into accepting it beggars belief!
Peter could drive a car bloody well, an absolute natural talent with a steering wheel in his hands and the media and public loved him, but that was the limit to his talent.
He relied on others for all the engineering, he just took the credit.

N.B. The Peter Brock referred to here was an Australian race car driver, not the Pete Brock from the USA coincidentally also a race car driver.

US Peter Brock is a living legend who designed the Daytona Coupe among other cars and runs the Legendary race team BRE.

 

[Pastorbottle]

Yeah I think you got the better Peter Brock

 

[Pastorbottle]

The watch was from a charity, they get me to do minor repairs such as changing batteries, replacing straps from the stash of dead watches and giving them a clean up to make them saleable. I do this without charge, there is an advantage to this service as I get first dibs on anything interesting.
That watch in particular will definitely be going back, no putting a bid on that