Parody of a watch sales ad

Posts
2,869
Likes
14,683
Besides verbosity in watch sales ads, which I've been equal parts amused/annoyed with, the other thing that gets my goat is the overly precious descriptions, and tendency to label everything as a grail, and to wax poetic.

Damn it's annoying.

So I thought, what the heck, let's do a parody. So here goes: (tongue firmly in cheek)







Respect

It’s a word that we don’t often use in watch collecting, but it applies not just once, or twice , but three times when we gaze upon the visage of this grail watch.

Vintage Tissots in this condition are hard to find, especially such a well-preserved state. We lucked out in this one, securing this for a high but fair price, but in the belief that the mantra ‘condition, condition, condition’ applies, justifying the price.

First, the case deserves respect. The chromed case, a hallmark of such 1940’s watches, is a respectable and thoroughly modern 38mm in size, giving it considerable wrist presence.

Secondly, the dial and the hands have such charm. The dial has a warm even patina, and the golden hands contrast perfectly against the patina. There was such harmony in design even then - notice how the teardrop at the end of the central seconds is recapitulated in the teardrops at 3,6 and 9. Undoubtedly, similar teardrops of joy will sparkle on the face of any owner of this august watch. Surely such consistency in the language of design deserves respect.

Finally, we pay respect to the previous owner of this watch. When we bought this from his widow, she showed us old pictures to affirm the provenance of this watch. Now that he has passed on, we have decided to show our respect by selecting a handmade ash-grey strap from a strap artisan in Italy that provides some contrast. Why ash-grey? The former owner was cremated at his wishes, and our colour choice reflects his current state. It is also a reminder of the impermanence of life; that our ownership of watches is temporary, and we are merely stewards of their existence.

It is hard to price such a unique, well-preserved treasure, but we feel a price of $3000 is appropriate. Part of the sale price goes towards Alzheimers’ research as his widow would have wanted. Regardless of price, this superb specimen of a vintage Tissot is a reflection of a kinder age where respect was the order of the day, and where this was a gentleman’s watch.




< any resemblance to any online watch ads is purely coincidental. Honestly >
 
Posts
3,084
Likes
23,764
Why ash-grey? The former owner was cremated at his wishes, and our colour choice reflects his current state. It is also a reminder of the impermanence of life; that our ownership of watches is temporary, and we are merely stewards of their existence.

What would the color be had he not been cremated?! 👎
 
Posts
27,333
Likes
69,710
I've honestly never read a Hondinkee sales advert, but this one sounds like it is one...

Also, if that's you watch, it's very nice!
 
Posts
4,464
Likes
61,576
If you don't already compose watch sales ads as a paid occupation ,your talent is being sadly wasted . I think you covered every base point in the watch ad world with this one , The teardrops of joy line had me sold .

There was such harmony in design even then - notice how the teardrop at the end of the central seconds is recapitulated in the teardrops at 3,6 and 9. Undoubtedly, similar teardrops of joy will sparkle on the face of any owner of this august watch.
 
Posts
2,869
Likes
14,683
I've honestly never read a Hondinkee sales advert, but this one sounds like it is one...

Also, if that's you watch, it's very nice!

Heh thanks Al! 😉 Yes it is indeed my watch, and yes, it's 38mm chromed. I do rather like it!

aap aap
What would the color be had he not been cremated?! 👎
He would be quite senior, and yes, I actually have a taupe strap for the Tissot too... "to match his skin colour as he sits illuminated by the evening sun, recalling his youth" 😁
 
Posts
2,430
Likes
9,801
With all due respect the previous owner would surely turn in his grave like the deftly “turned” lugs on this case if he had known what a reasonable price his respected timepiece was proffered for.


Fantastic watch👍
 
Posts
2,869
Likes
14,683
With all due respect the previous owner would surely turn in his grave like the deftly “turned” lugs on this case if he had known what a reasonable price his respected timepiece was proffered for.

Fantastic watch👍

Thanks! BTW to avoid any misunderstandings from forum members, no widow was involved and this was bought off ebay 😁
 
Posts
2,510
Likes
3,727
This line:

"Why ash-grey? The former owner was cremated at his wishes, and our colour choice reflects his current state."

made me snort and laugh out loud to the point where I'm glad I work from home, as it would certainly have been disturbing to my co-workers if I did not.
 
Posts
1,010
Likes
2,964
Is it weird that I want it now?

The picture alone should have sufficed in this case...
 
Posts
1,433
Likes
1,571
Is it weird that I want it now?
No. I clicked the link in the original post hoping to find a sales ad.

DIBS.
 
Posts
3,817
Likes
16,132
Oops, does this mean it's squirrel bait now? 😉😁

offer it up to @ulackfocus he just loves this kind of stuff.