A month ago I became a dad for the first time, to a healthy and so-far easy going baby girl. My wife's fine too. While we were discussing Baltic watches (as one does) over PM, I got some very valuable and even touching parenting advice from @wagudc. This made me curious to hear from the broader OF community who also happen to be parents: what advice would you have appreciated as a new parent? Biggest successes and no-nos? Any great anecdotes you'd like to share?

Bear in mind: I've got the basics down yo. My daughter eats, sleeps, poops and grows well. I'm just curious to learn from your out of the ordinary experiences (while I'm doing the night shift here at home )

 

1. Ignore anyone who tells you it never get any easier. It does.
2. You don’t have to be perfect; you just have to be good enough.
3. Be kind to yourself. It’s ok to feel overwhelmed, exhausted and desperate sometimes.

 

Happy for you! Start saving!!! I've got 2 daughters, One just finished University and the other in her final year! Wouldn't have it any other way!!

If you want my advice at this early stage, stick to a routine! Start mixing it up - prepare for the fallout!

 

Consistency. If you say something, do it, no matter how trivial the detail.

Young children are so perceptive, and knowing their parent(s) mean what they say is foundation. Whether you're saying "put that toy down," "don't run into the street", or "I love you," children need to know you mean it. Every time.

 

Enjoy those toddler years and all the hugs, kisses and laugh she will share with you. She will grow fast ...

 

Great advice.

Also, keep in mind they never forget things that you say. My son (6 years old) cannot remember what he did in art class earlier this afternoon, but when he is going to bed tonight I guarantee he will ask me about something I said in passing when he was 2-1/2 years old.

 

Take everyone advice with a grain of salt. Don't research everything on the internet or believe everything you read.

 

+1
Do what works for you and your family. It's cliche, but everyone is different.

 

Every stage has its challenges and rewards. Patience, love, values and consistency. Remember that there is no more important responsibility in this world than raising a child to be a positive contributor to society. Give them all the life experience, education and encouragement you can muster.

 

Reward your wife often for no reason at all. Just her favourite food out of the blue, flowers for nothing. Sometimes the get stuck in the baby bubble.

 

Take pictures. A lot. You will be too tired to remember clearly!

 

Start saving. I couldn't believe how much of my resources they suck up. Oldest is married and the youngest is on here third year as a PhD candidate at Perdue/Sandia, but they're still sucking resources.

The best advice I can give on parenting is consistency. Meals and schedule as consistent as possible. When punishment is threatened, follow through if necessary. I can't tell you how many parents blow that one and it just makes me cringe; the kids learn that there are no consequences to their actions.

That being said, children that fall asleep on their own accord grow up to be smarter.

 

This is good. I have heard it said this way:

"Never threaten a punishment that you can't carry out, and never fail to carry out a punishment when the line is crossed"

 

Do things together, create the memories, take crap loaded pictures, videos capture those moments. Always Be there for her.
Be fair to her. Show here everything in this world.
Remember, that you are going to be role model for her future husband ( even though it is sounds like a years away).
P.S. Daughter is arguably the best thing that could happen to a men.
P.P.S I'm not going to upload all 17000 pictures from my phone here, but would like to share few randomly selected.

 

For me I would say be ready to be flexible. My two boys change so dramatically even over the course of just a couple months. They are constantly developing and learning. One day I know everything they are thinking and there are no secrets, two months later their minds are a black box and I’ve gotta adapt to understand how to engage with them.

But that’s the interesting thing about being a parent. These little kids will always surprise you with what they learn and grow. Enjoy the journey.

 

This is a wonderful thread...

Little girls are special - they are so sweet and nice, calm and collected, and in general, a dream to be around. They will have a flair for the dramatic, and at times will test your limits, but will always melt your heart with a sweet look, comment or a big hug.

You are a lucky man, and as others have said, take pics, videos, make memories, as they are only little once!

 

Oh, and make sure you know who lives in a pineapple under the sea. This knowledge will prove invaluable.

 

Thank you OF for delivering on this thread. I'm truly humbled by all your heartfelt words and honest advice. Online forums can be vile places, but the community here on OF is a wonderful exception to that.

I loved everyone's response, but some specific reactions to some:

I've read somewhere that kids don't do what you say, they do what you do. I guess that's what you're getting at, too

Yes, to all of that. I will never accept anyone telling her she won't be able to do something because she's a girl.

Still in total awe of her. Giving birth is the hardest thing a human being can do. Whatever hardship us men have to go through pales in comparison. I thought before I'd do anything for that woman—that feeling has gone to a whole new level now.

Have seen this happen surprisingly often too. Made a mental note never to threaten to sell her to the circus

Will take all of this to heart. Wonderfully kind words from a dad who clearly adores his daughter. Thank you so much!

I'll start educating myself. Didn't Unimatic just release a spongebob special edition?

 

Nice thread!! Two boys, one just graduated college one has 1 tuition payment remaining. By the wording of my sentence, you could probably guess my advice is to save money for college. No loans and it gives them a huge advantage.

Aside from that I think most here already covered the bases.

Each child is different, I'd try to help them explore different things that may be of interest, but try and focus based on their natural strengths.

 

I've got a relative with a 3 yr. old genius.
I asked for the secret and the only thing he came up with was to always have the closed captioning on when watching tv.
He felt the visual of the printed word associated with what's being spoken had led to her amazing reading skills and that reading was the doorway to education.

I just tried it with my daughter but at 43, she told me to f*** off.